Forbidden attraction

I wasn’t going to come to the reunion.

I don’t usually attend these events. Most of the time, I think they’re kind of stupid. There’s nobody here that I want to see. Anyone that I do see, I’m already texting. Or we’re following each other on social media. Everybody else, I really don’t have any interest in catching up with, and then there’s you. I know you can feel it. There’s this forbidden attraction that’s always been lingering. I don’t want to activate it again.

It’s a forbidden attraction.

I don’t think this is fair. It’s like you don’t even feel it. When you see me, I notice you notice me. and then nothing. After that, I might wander over to you and our friends. You’ll say hi to me, then stare at me out of the corner of your eye. You know it’s not okay, and you know we have this yearning that won’t go away. Why do you play these games with me? It’s only forbidden because of who we are to each other. Who made up these rules? if two people are attracted to each other, shouldn’t they be allowed to be together? I don’t get it. 

Why can’t we just say what we want? I don’t want to hide it anymore. Honestly, I’m sick of lying to people. I have to pretend that I don’t feel that way about you when I obviously do. I look crazy to people. It’s so obvious that I want you, and every time they ask, I have to say that I don’t. Why can’t we just have each other? Why is it a forbidden attraction?

Just give it to me.

You’re giving me mixed signals. Generally, you always have. Soon, someone suggests that we get shots at the bar. You agree. And so, someone lines up little glasses on the bar, and we all take one. I can see you staring at me as I hold my glass. You’re waiting to drink until I take mine. It’s like a dare. Your eyes are burning into me. I look at you with a silent expression. “What?” my eyes ask you. You shake your head and look at the floor, a boyish grin on your face. I will never get over you

At this point, until you give me what is mine, I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinking about you. I’m obsessed with your hands sinking into my thighs. I dream about your tongue thrusting between my lips. I want to feel your hot breath on my neck. You know that I can never get enough of you. Is that why you always leave in the end? Because it’s a forbidden attraction?

Don’t leave. Not this time.

Stop caring. Stop performing.  Ignore what everybody wants and expects from us. If we did that, we’d be together. We’d be fucking on this floor right now. We’d be back at your house trying to get me pregnant. But we can’t talk about that, can we? It’s forbidden. But, according to whom?

Break the rules with me. I want you more than I want them to like me. Maybe if I tell everyone I’m going out for a cigarette, you’ll follow me. I don’t even smoke anymore. So that’s what I do. I don’t overstay my welcome too long. After a few minutes, I slip on my jacket, put two fingers to my lips, make eye contact with everyone, including you, and slip outside. We’ll see how forbidden this attraction is.

Without delay, there you are, right behind me. I hear your voice ask where I’m off to so quickly. Forbidden attraction? I don’t think so. I meet your gaze and hold up my car keys. You already know. You trust me. After all, I know what I’m doing.

It won’t be a forbidden attraction much longer.

It’s just that simple. There you are, with your hips pressed against mine, with my back against my car. We know there’s no one around to see. Your lips find mine for the first time in what feels like forever. We should at least get inside. I fumble with my keys. The backdoors click open. 

You’re on top of me. Your weight is a relief. Suddenly, everything is the way it should be. Finally. 

Give it to me.

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