He had arrived to his love fixation session… ten minutes early. He had a restless energy about him. One that radiated impatience.. I could feel it from the moment I opened the inner door to my office. It wasn’t heat exactly, but there was something about him.
I motioned for him to come in and take a seat. The love fixation session had begun! He was nervous and uncertain. I smiled. I told him this was a safe space, and he didn’t need to be nervous. His hands continued to grip his knees. He tried to look at me, but moved his eyes back to the floor. He took a deep breath and blurted it out. “I can’t stop thinking about love, I chase it all the time, I think that every woman I meet, I’m in love with.
Can you help me? I want to understand this love fixation, I always find myself in situations, and then my heart’s broken every time. I just want to love somebody who loves me back!” “And what happens when you think you found that?” He looks at me with a sad smile, “It fades or I ruin it by holding on too tightly.”
“So you’re not here to learn how to stop feeling love, your here to learn how to hold it without crushing it,” he nods. I asked him to give me some examples. Once he starts sharing, his stories just keep coming. Stories about his whirlwind romances, and him feeling love at first sight, a woman’s touch or glance that made him feel like he had found the ONE. As he talked, I watch him and notice the way his hands moved, how he spoke, and his eyes lingered whenever I gave him my full attention. He was fully engaged in this love fixation session.
He blushed, “It’s your energy, it’s hard not to watch you.” I smiled, “You’re feeling it now, aren’t you, that warmth inside… the one you chase?” His blush was deep as he answered, “Yes.” I stand up and move towards his chair, walking behind it. “Close your eyes, I want you to feel that moment, the exact moment you fall in love. Don’t think of the person, just the feeling”. He was listening to me, as his breathing slowed, and his body relaxed, and then he smiled. I asked him where he felt it in his chest? His stomach? He took a deep breath and said feel it in my heart, in my chest it feels warm and full.” Oh yeah, this was a love fixation. I softened my voice. “Good, now hold it there without eating anything, be present, and let it be enough right here and right now.”
“Love fixation isn’t about the other person, it’s about your hunger for connection. What if you could love yourself, give yourself that feeling without needing somebody else?” He was quiet, but I could feel the shift. It was both tender and intense. I walked around and stood in front of him and said, “open your eyes.” When he opened his eyes, the questioning and the longing were gone… instead, there was understanding. I gestured him to stand up, when he did, straightened his clothes, pulled back his shoulders…my hands may have lingered a second longer than necessary. This man chases love like a drowning man chases air. I said softly, “You can learn to breathe without gasping for air.” At that moment, something happened, a charge of electricity passed between us.
“That’s enough for today’s love fixation session.” He smiled. He said, “That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be!”. A mischievous grin reached my mouth, and I said, “We’ll see how you feel after a few more sessions.” After the door closes behind him, I still feel his presence. I stopped to breathe for a moment, still feeling my own heart beating. The truth of this love fixation, his and mine, is this could be harder to treat than either of us imagined, just like the confessions of a sex addict.
Give me a call if you’d like your own sex therapy 101 session and open up about all your sexual desires, or if you want to hear more about ours. The confessional is open.
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Camille is always a blast to talk with, sexy of course, but also hilarious.
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Zoey and I have talked a handful of times, and it was a blast right from the jump. She quickly became one of my favorite queens. 5-star for sure.
