Pot of Gold – The New Roommate’s Secret Is Out!

The largest box was labeled Pot of Gold.

Our hunt for a new roommate had taken weeks- It’s surprisingly so difficult to find “normal” people these days. Devlin’s pot of gold label wasn’t threatening in the least once you considered everything we went through. Craigslist managed to connect the girls and me exclusively with creepers only. One by one, we cross off the names of folks who felt safe enough to at least interview for the open room. Each person ruined their own chances by inevitably crossing an unspoken boundary. The final interviewee shot himself down after blabbing about doing drugs with his favorite dancer mere hours before meeting up.

“Pot of Gold is just an inside joke because I’m Irish.”

Devlin was in fact very Irish, devilishly ginger and green-eyed. His sweet accent danced along, hitting the pronunciation of words in each sentence so kindly. We had not set out to find such a charming young man to join the ranks in our unit but chasing rainbows landed us our own lucky pot of gold in filling the spot. Despite being fresh off the boat to the United States, he was still able to provide any reference we could request. He wired over the necessary deposits to our rental management company quickly and the large required amounts did not phase him.

We landed a real winner and were happy to assist him in moving in that same weekend. Being so fresh to the area, Devlin did not have much aside from the box that read “Pot of Gold” in thick black permanent marker. If I’m being honest, I was impressed with how effortlessly he managed life at his size. It was impossible to ignore Devlin’s short stature but it became much more apparent once he complied with our “no shoes inside” rule.

“I can’t have everyone after me pot of gold, Lana!”

He explained that he had worn lifts in his boots for years. Everyone appreciated the attempt at a Leprechaun joke. It is feeling to me that he is realizing that I can’t take my eyes off of the only labeled box in his belongings. Donna and Gwen fixate on introducing Devlin to the neighbors. This outing brings forward an opportunity for me to peek at the contents inside of his pot of gold. I have seen my share of Saint Patrick’s Day parties in the past and I’m happy to sit this one out to do some detective work instead.

Everyone leaves alone at home where idol hands often get me in trouble. I begin to carefully lift the packaging tape from the lid. Hoping to not leave behind any evidence of my crimes. Devlin’s pot of gold seems at first glance to just be a collection of heirlooms and personal documents. I get a few layers down to a few dozen nudie mags with post-its sticking out. The post-its must mark what I can only guess are the more important pages. I did not pay close attention to the covers the magazines which would have given me a hint. Once inside the glossy pages, I realize this is all kinky little people porn and dead center is Devlin!

I scramble as I hear the front door open but it’s too late. Devlin is already standing in the hallway grinning at me, stroking something absolutely massive. Shockwaves go down my body and invoke wetness between my thighs. “I told ya everyone is always after me pot of gold, Lana. Do you want to find out why?”

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