The Tik Tok Leprechaun : The Story Of Blarney Mc’Diddler.

The Tik Tok Leprechaun.

In the foggy dew of late March, a little creature arose from the River Bush. Confused as to why he was so small compared to the other water dwellers he emerged with, he ventured out on his own. The runt of the litter, he was a black sheep from day one. He started his trek by (his little) foot, resting in nearby trees, carved for the fairies. He picked up woodworking along the way, creating miniature musical instruments, fit for the finest fiddlers of the land. Soon, he hopped upon a ship that carried him to a new world, spending his time chipping and chiseling away, making tools for his Irish tunes. By the time he reached the port in New Jersey, he had fingers so fast, they nearly vibrated. This is the story of Blarney Mc’Didddler, The Man? The Myth? THE LEGEND. The Tik Tok Leprechaun!

He Took Shelter in a Nearby Strip Club Called Goomahs.

Scared of the chaos of the drunken men, he hid in the stage lights, watching the strippers’ moves. He watched as they danced in a new way, one he had not yet seen on his journey. As he watched them dance, his fingers began to vibrate. He could not help himself and began to fiddle a new diddy. Trying to make it, in a new land, he did not yet know his fate as the Tik Tok Leprechaun. As the song in the stereo came to an end, his fiddling continued and a loud voice yelled “What da fuck is that shit ova hee?” His little heart pumping, he scrambled but fell. With every microsecond of his fall, he contemplated life, his purpose, and his talent. But with the luck of the Irish, his fall became fate, into a sanctuary of two lovely breasts, cushioning his blow.

The Soon-to-be Tik Tok Leprechaun, Was in a Pickle.

Johnny Tree Times plucked him from between the silicone mounds and said “What da fuck, fuck…fuck?” He took Blarney to the back, the changing room. The strippers swooned. “He’s so cute! How did we not see him?” “How long have you been here, little guy? My shrunken Valentine!” That’s when Johnny Tree Times exclaimed “Lightbulb! Bulb, bulb. Quickly, Johnny brought Blarney to their sandwich spot for a meeting with the others. “He’s gotta work for us, us…us!” They realized Blarney would make a good hitman. I mean, no one would ever see it coming! So he spent the next 10 years proving his worth. But, on one melancholy day, the Don said “Blarney, you’ll never be made, you’re not a full-blooded Italian.” With the news, Blarney fainted into a pile of freshly sliced gabagool.

He Moved On to Greener Pastures to Become…The Tik Tok Leprechaun.

He started with a nearby college. While out on the campus, he saw a slew of students dancing badly, and their music was absolute shite. He decided to take a chance and introduce himself. It being 2024, they accepted him without asking any questions. He said “I can help! I know a thing-er-two about song and tap, and although I came from the river, I can do more than the river dance. He became a sensation.  New dances popped up all over the country, and with Blarney’s tunes and moves, he went viral. Until one fateful day, he was caught diddling in the trousers of a Freshman.  Consequently, Tik Tok was banned and Blarney sat in his cell. During an interview from prison, a reporter asked “Mr. Mc’Diddler, why did you commit this heinous act?” Blarney responded, “I was just looking for me lucky charms, they’re always after em’.”

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