I know. The Olympics aren’t until July! However, there will be a very mini version before the BIG event. These games will have slightly smaller sportsmen. Given that they are so little, it’s only fair they are given a head start. Don’t you shrink? I mean THINK! Oh boy. You are in for a real treat. There will be games, there will be music, there will be a small… ceremony. The best part is the venue is just an old pet store! You can rest easy knowing there will be no extra traffic! So enjoy your baguette! Relax, sip on that Champagne, and enjoy the show from your local Bistro. Just be sure there isn’t a little guy hiding under your escargot. Ouch! Some of them are trying to run away, but don’t worry. We will get them all in time for the SHRUNKEN MAN OLYMPICS!
In the pet store, there will be performances held by Lil’ Wayne, Lil’ John, Lil Kim, and many more. There will also be covers of the Late Biggie Smalls as well as Tiny Tim! It will be a total experience. Special guest Andre’ 3000 has a flute encore just for the Shrunken Man Olympics! His melodic tunes will ensure all those little guys get out of their fear frenzy while getting in line! We did Pavlovian response conditioning! They can’t escape. It will be a miniature marvel! Then they will all line up and one by one go down a spoon-sized slide to commence the beginning of their games. They have really cute outfits too. One of my girlfriends from my weekly Giantess Aerobics Party was the designer! She had them physically make them though. You know, nimble fingers.
First on the list is boxing! Their rings are the old Rock Em’ Sock Em’ Robots toy. We just strap them into place and have a heap of other little guys move the controls. It’s a real team effort. Then, on to fencing! We just use toothpicks and don’t give them any gear so we don’t have to bother with too many Hor D’oeuvres during the commercial breaks. It’s a Win-Win, lose! Next, Soccer. Yes, you’ve guessed it, a foosball table. Don’t worry they aren’t all getting a giant iron rod all the way through. We aren’t animals! We just use barbed wire! It really helps them stay in their lane. This is just the tip of the iceberg. For more on the games, you’ll have to wait for part deux!
Listen, there aren’t many spots because as you know, it’s in a pet store. However, I’m sure some of the giantesses will be glad to serve you on a plate right next to them. Sorry, I meant to save your place right next to them! There is even free booze and drugs! Here’s what you need to do. First, go to the venue today, very late at night, like 1:00 Am, and go to the back alley and wait. They are so generous they may even give you a ride back home. Or somewhere! You don’t even need to take your phone, just take a cab there! Um, no parking. In any case, just have him drop you at the 24/7 Taco Bell across the street. Secondly, be sure to have cash. Cash only. Finally, don’t spread the news about this. Because of the uh, limited seats! YEAH, LIMITED SEATS.
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