Shrunken Man Hunt: Who Needs Easter Eggs?

Shrunken Man Hunt.

My girlfriends and I love foraging for men. There is something about being out in the open air, trees surrounding you, listening to the sounds of leaves crunching and birds chirping. You really get to become one with nature, ya know? Anyway, we don’t just track down regular-sized men, that’s too easy. We collect them, slowly, over about a year. We give them “room and board” for that entire time, far away from the public eye, of course. After that, we shrink ’em! Then we have an annual forest gathering. It’s massive. My girlfriends fly from all over the world for our event. All ten thousand of them. Welcome to the Shrunken Man Hunt.

We Don’t Need Fancy Hotels.

We built underground houses centuries ago. They can house every single one of us, plus a guest or two, if we so desire. Staying off the grid is the only way this can work. Rumors have come and gone. The men who did pursue their wild goose chase only ended up staying, forever. Nothing good will come from searching for us, so beware! We are here for our yearly Shrunken Man Hunt, and no one will get in our way! We will not eat a thing until our search is over. Before our big day, we will undress, cleanse ourselves in our subterranean lake, and oil our bodies for the transformation into our giantess bodies.

Our Shrunken Man Hunt Will Commence at Zero Siz Hundred.

At zero 500, we begin the stretch. All ten thousand of us stretch underground and exit the earth just as the sun is rising. It is then that we become our true selves, our giant selves. We all look at each other in glee, as the sun bursts through the strands of our hair, now as long as our human bodies once were. There are no teams, it’s every giantess for herself. We will, however, feast together as one big collective when the day is over. One by one, we cover the perimeter of the forest. If the small men create an alliance, and bring down one of our own, she theirs. She becomes an offering. While that is happening, they are in a safe zone. Once a pulse is no longer heard, the game begins again.

If One of The Short Stacks Dissapears Through The Other Side, They Are Free to Go.

It means they have beaten the shrunken man hunt game and won…their life back.  They will return to human size and be able to continue their lives as they once did, one year prior. In over one thousand years, it’s yet to happen once. However, even with knowing this, they always try. Humans are so optimistic. We always have to look out for the Jolly Green Giant, sometimes, he likes to crash our events and play the part of a hero to make up for his misdoings. I think the entire thing just gives him a raging hard-on, but what can I say, we make Amazonians look like elves.

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