Since I decided to shrink my husband last year, the holidays have been a delight. It all started with Shrunken Man Thanksgiving, his first big change from big to little. Talk about saving on groceries! When Christmas rolled around he was definitely Santa’s little helper! Valentine’s Day was a blast and now it’s finally Spring. A fresh start, new growth ahead, (except for him of course) and the excitement of knowing an abundance of outdoor activities are coming up! After brunch with the ladies, we came up with the idea for a traditional egg hunt, and I couldn’t have been more excited. I ran home to tell him the news. “Hey Tiny! I’ve got a big surprise for you coming this Shrunken Man Easter!”
He said, “Honey, this isn’t another situation like the one last week, is it?” You see, I came into a bit of a pickle on April 1st. I told him I was going to make him man-sized again and he got really excited. When I yelled “April Fool’s!” he started crying and ran to the gnome garden in the backyard. I chased after him, (giving him an hour head-start) and apologized tremendously. I would never get his hopes us again, not even for Shrunken Man Easter. At the time it happened, he said “Avalon, you know, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here.” I told him I understood his dilemma of loving me and not wanting to be small. He replied by saying “No, I’m really stuck between this big rock and some hard piece of plastic. Have the neighbors been littering in our yard again?”
After the April Fool’s stunt that slightly traumatized the little fella, I really wanted to do something special for him. I put him in charge of hiding all the eggs! What a treat! I bought him a remote control truck with a wagon. I even found a little dollhouse-sized dolly for him to wheel the eggs out of his lil’ pick up! He lit up like a glowworm when I told him the news. I took him to go check out his new wheels and the job at hand. “Darling! Thank you! This really makes up for last week!” He said with glee. I looked at him poking him repeatedly with my finger in his tiny button of a belly. “Oh baby, I could just squish you! SQUISH, SQUISH, SQUISH!” I said laughing. He wasn’t laughing though, he looked scared.
Shrunken Man Easter had just begun, yet it wasn’t more than thirty minutes into Operation EGG HUNT that my phone started dinging! He was sending me voice clips from the Apple watch I strapped to him! “May Day, May Day! We’ve got a massive pile-up! There’s so much egggggggggggg.” His voice faded in the last one so I ran to his rescue. There he was, with his match stick legs sticking out from the pastel pile of hard-boiled disaster. I picked him up. He was a bit beat up, a bit yokey, but adorable nonetheless. “I’ll clean you up Tiny!” I started licking him all over. Eventually, I just slid him into my mouth because it seemed easier. However, It was a little too tasty, and then “Ahhhhh!” CRUNCH.
Do you have a tiny itch you can’t scratch?
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