Everyone likes different flavors of kink. From plain ole Vanilla to Chunky Monkey and everything in between. And what you like determines where you lie on what I call the Kinky Barometer. And to that endeavor, I like to play a little game called “You Know You’re Kinky When…”
Ok, so maybe it’s not so much a game but more a type of humor. Now I’m sure you’ve all heard of “You Know You’re Kinky When…” humor (if not, then you’re in for a real treat!). For me, it kinda reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy’s “…you might be a Red Neck” comedy. Hmmm, maybe THIS is where he got the idea from? Sounds awfully suspicious to me, hehehehe. (Redneck Barometer, Kinky Barometer — potato, potäto, lol). Makes you wonder where that good ole boy’s been sniffing around at if ya know what I mean *wink wink*.
The “kinky when” lines always give me a wicked little smile when I read them, and I find myself subconsciously checking off the ones that pertain to me (wanna know which ones? Just give me a call and ask. Not saying I’ll tell you, but maybe if you’re a good boy, I just might 😉 – dang, digressing again…).
As I was saying, I’m always on the prowl to find new ones I haven’t heard of. Well I figure I must not be the only one out there that does this, so I figure I’d share a few of my favs, and see if all of you know some I don’t know (oh yes, this is an interactive blog – don’t cringe, just go with it. But if you must cringe, you might as well work on your Kegels as well – and-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three… man, can anyone out there spot me some ADHD meds?)
…you try to get arrested, just for the handcuffs, body cavity search, humiliation scene & time in the cage.
…you have more toys than your kids.
…a guy tells you he will look into your eyes and wipe away your tears while you choke on his cock and you think that’s the sweetest thing ever!
…you take up macramé, just to learn some new knots.
…you have the closest 24-hour locksmith as #1 on your speed dial list.
…your idea of getting a jump in the morning is to hook up the other end of your nipple clamp to the car battery.
…you spend more time on your knees than a Catholic priest.
…someone tries to talk you out of your blind date by saying he’s sick and sadistic and you perk, god I hope so!
…the first thing you check when looking for a new car is whether the trunk can hold a bound submissive or two.
…someone calls your wife a slut and you thank them.
…tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore.
…you can’t pass by an iron fence without drooling.
…you own and use handcuffs, but aren’t employed in law enforcement.
…your contracts involve punishments, but no money.
…your friends covet the bondage cross in your bedroom.
…your son’s Boy Scout Troop thinks you are way cool because you helped them earn their merit badge for knot tying.
So, those are just a few that I adore. What about you? Got one that I haven’t mentioned or heard before? How about one that you want to try, hehehe? Where DO you fall on the kinky barometer? Come on kinksters, let your freak flag fly…you know you want to…
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I had a great time with my two beautiful and sexy ladies Carmen and Kayla. It has been a while since we played together. It was definitely worth the wait!
I had a great time with my two beautiful and sexy ladies Carmen and Kayla. It has been a while since we played together. It was definitely worth the wait!
Ariel is truly amazing. Her voice is seductive and she really knows how to bring out the dirtiest version of me, hehe!!
Aileen is hot as they cum. She really knows what she is doing and is always the most satisfying!
WOW, I had an absolutely wonderful and memorable call with Jade! She listened to the role play that I wanted to work through with her and she was beyond perfect. She was able to step into her role as my milf neighbor growing up and really made my phone sex fantasy come to life! I can’t wait till I am working out of town again and have another chance to call her as I have other role plays to do with her.
Joey OUTSHINES everybody!! She is the ABSOLUTE PERFECT combination of everything. Sweetness ✔️, Compassion ✔️, Sincerity ✔️, Intelligence ✔️. And her Sexiness. . . OMG!!! Joey makes my life AMAZING!!!
Bailee was super enthusiastic and rolled right into playing out the fantasy I had. She is phenomenal.
Amber is kind and understanding of my needs. She would make a good friend!
This was only my second call with Addison, and I am already addicted to her sexy voice. She knows exactly how to command and control me. Love the way she takes me all the way to the edge, before she gives me the hands off command. Looking forward to obeying her more often.
Vanessa is simply amazing. She can be so precious or be so fucking wicked. Her oral skills are insane. She will make your cock cum, cum and cum again. If you want a spicy and wicked good time, Call Vanessa!!
Had a super hot call with Gracie! Her voice sounds so innocent and seductive at the same time. She is so sexy and we always conclude with an explosive finish.
Brittany is Amaaaaaazing! I don’t think she has said no to any fantasy I have. She always plays roles I come up with to perfection and with realism, sexiness and intelligence. It feels organic, like it’s really happening. In addition, she is enjoyable to talk to casually about my life, hers, or miscellaneous stuff. I hope it is not naïve that I consider her to be my friend. I feel special and fulfilled with my conversations with her, not limited to but certainly including sexually. I believe that my life has become enriched through calling her. Please give her the highest possible praise.