Kinky Barometer: What’s Your Kink and How Kinky are You? ♕

Let’s find out where you fall on a little thing I call the Kinky Barometer, Shall we?

 

Everyone likes different flavors of kink. From plain ole Vanilla to Chunky Monkey and everything in between. And what you like determines where you lie on what I call the Kinky Barometer. And to that endeavor, I like to play a little game called “You Know You’re Kinky When…”

Ok, so maybe it’s not so much a game but more a type of humor. Now I’m sure you’ve all heard of “You Know You’re Kinky When…” humor (if not, then you’re in for a real treat!). For me, it kinda reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy’s “…you might be a Red Neck” comedy. Hmmm, maybe THIS is where he got the idea from? Sounds awfully suspicious to me, hehehehe. (Redneck Barometer, Kinky Barometer — potato, potäto, lol). Makes you wonder where that good ole boy’s been sniffing around at if ya know what I mean *wink wink*.

But I digress…back to the subject at hand (namely the kinky barometer)

The “kinky when” lines always give me a wicked little smile when I read them, and I find myself subconsciously checking off the ones that pertain to me (wanna know which ones? Just give me a call and ask. Not saying I’ll tell you, but maybe if you’re a good boy, I just might 😉 – dang, digressing again…).

As I was saying, I’m always on the prowl to find new ones I haven’t heard of.  Well I figure I must not be the only one out there that does this, so I figure I’d share a few of my favs, and see if all of you know some I don’t know (oh yes, this is an interactive blog – don’t cringe, just go with it. But if you must cringe, you might as well work on your Kegels as well – and-a-one, and-a-two, and-a-three… man, can anyone out there spot me some ADHD meds?)

Let’s find out where you fall on my Kinky Barometer, shall we?

OK, so without further ado (or ADHD moments), I give you a few of my favorite “You know you’re kinky when…” 

…you try to get arrested, just for the handcuffs, body cavity search, humiliation scene & time in the cage.

…you have more toys than your kids.

…a guy tells you he will look into your eyes and wipe away your tears while you choke on his cock and you think that’s the sweetest thing ever!

…you take up macramé, just to learn some new knots.

…you have the closest 24-hour locksmith as #1 on your speed dial list.

…your idea of getting a jump in the morning is to hook up the other end of your nipple clamp to the car battery.

…you spend more time on your knees than a Catholic priest.

…someone tries to talk you out of your blind date by saying he’s sick and sadistic and you perk, god I hope so!

…the first thing you check when looking for a new car is whether the trunk can hold a bound submissive or two.

…someone calls your wife a slut and you thank them.

…tack shops: Not just for equestrians anymore.

…you can’t pass by an iron fence without drooling.

…you own and use handcuffs, but aren’t employed in law enforcement.

…your contracts involve punishments, but no money.

…your friends covet the bondage cross in your bedroom.

And last but not by any means least, You know you’re kinky when…

…your son’s Boy Scout Troop thinks you are way cool because you helped them earn their merit badge for knot tying.

 

So, those are just a few that I adore.  What about you? Got one that I haven’t mentioned or heard before?  How about one that you want to try, hehehe? Where DO you fall on the kinky barometer? Come on kinksters, let your freak flag fly…you know you want to…