Lately, the world hasn’t been doing so great. I mean, in every which way, we are fucked. But, what if instead we just said fuck it? Would it be the worst thing to happen if extraterrestrials took over? Maybe they could fix things. I know. In every movie where they say they come in peace, they usually don’t. What if, they didn’t want to fuck us over, but just wanted… to fuck? To start a new race, a hybrid, that could withstand the environment of the future, make everyone hotter and healthier, and possibly breathe in space? I know a few billionaires who probably would welcome an invasion. Of course, they usually have a real Dr. Strangelove mindset and would hunker down in their bunkers deep into the earth and potentially miss out on the first round of the apocalyptic alien orgy!
That’s fine! They can hide, but the aliens will seek! Aside from that, I’m quite sure all the E.T.s would be in search of the escorts of these bozos. They would only need the brilliant minds later to harvest their intelligent D.N.A. for mixing with the hot genes. In addition, they would need access to all the secret stashes of goodies the planet has that all these old wrinkly-money-bags know about. The apocalyptic alien orgy would have to commence without them. There will be alien chicks as well, don’t worry. In addition, they will be looking for some big dudes that can hold them down in zero gravity if you get what I mean. So get to pumping. However, If not for your health, do it for maybe one day fucking a hot alien broad and SCIENCE! It would be hot, and they probably know their way around!
Who knows what they are capable of? For all we know as I type this, they are reading it from some laser vision binocular things while in space. Hey fellas! If I scored an alien I would be sure to ask all of the right questions. Like, “Can you swim while your eyes are open? How long does it take you to brush your teeth?” Just kidding. It would be more like “Can you guys time travel?” Imagine being able to go back in time and fuck all sorts of people. A little sexy time loop if you will. Just be careful. Don’t get yourself in a pickle like Marty Mcfly in Back To The Future. Unless that’s your thing, of course, you perv.
It might just end all the bad stuff that’s happening. Transportation and factories would be shut down, bye climate change! Wars would end. We’ll need to squash the beef and unite as one! Combined forces. The internet will be done-ski. Cyberbullying byeeeiiiii. Then, of course, all these politicians will worm their way down to their lairs and we can spend our time with the aliens. Fucking and swimming with our eyes open.
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