Famous Star Fuckers: The Star Banged and Bannered.

Famous Star Fuckers.

We all know (against our own will) plenty of celebrities that shouldn’t REALLY be famous. Why are these people in the limelight? Well, the answer is simple, they fucked somebody who was already in it. At least they’re famous for doing something fun, unlike the current, mindless TikToks where people get rich by sitting on pineapples (right side up) and putting on makeup. Although, maybe for the current audience reading this, that sounds like a good time. Nonetheless, I feel compelled to share my little list of the folks with the different strokes that led to their infamy. Now, as I’m sure there are many more on the list, these famous star fuckers are my top three.

No. 3- Monica, We’re Still Thinking of You.

Mostly because you won’t let us forget! After doing some major collecting of cash from the media interviews, she managed to turn her good time gone sour into just a pretty good time.  After the Tripp story dropped, Lewinsky was exposed as a home wrecker, but not just any home wrecker. She wrecked the fucking White House. To be clear, Clinton was the bigger idiot in this case. This still ranks M.L. as number three in my famous star fuckers list. She even started her own handbag line after all the drama came out. Look them up, they’re pretty terrible. It’s shocking she didn’t make a dress line, right?  In the age of the Me Too Movement, Monica got her shot and began to collect. She parlayed fucking the P.O.T.U.S. as an intern and getting caught, into Ted Talks, producing, and writing for Vanity Fair. You suck it, Bill!

No. 2 Of  The Famous Star Fuckers…

Kim. Kim Kardashian is so famous I guarantee that most of you don’t remember who she banged on that tape. Ray J was kind of well-known, but we all know the real star in that homemade video was THAT ASS. An ass that launched an entire career. Even though Kim’s family was pretty famous, she wasn’t really anyone, kind of like Paris. She did reality tv for twenty seasons, married one of the most popular rappers of all time, (lol, not Ray J), and then fucked 10-inch  Pete Davidson, who took her ex-husband’s billion-dollar deal with Adidas, Nice! She then started a shapewear line which made her super, duper, mega-loaded. Kim’s got that fuck you money that we all wish we had. Aside from having bookoo bucks, she’s more famous than the goddamn Pope. Oh, and she’s studying to become a lawyer, because why the hell not? God bless America. 

No. 1 On The Famous Star Fuckers List is Now Royalty.

You finally did it Camilla! Of all the fuckers, you’re the one literally wearing a crown! And you didn’t even have to pay for it!  You just had to ruin a marriage, (with the help of Charles of course) and wait patiently for the longest-reigning British monarch in history to run her course. God save the Queen! Aren’t you glad you got exposed on that phone conversation all those years ago? He’s the King now, and you’re a Queen. Do you think he still wishes he was your tampon? Probably not, but who cares.  You made it, bitch. QUEEN BITCH.

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