Heavy Thick Pounding: He’s Every Woman’s Dream Guy. ♕

Deciphering each phase…

As a man, do you wonder what women do whenever we finally break things off? Here’s an insider’s look at the phases of a woman’s breakup. I promise you, it’s nothing short of entertaining. Phase one is shock and denial. Then, phase two is sadness and grief. Next, comes phase three, anger and frustration. Following this, is phase four, reflection and discovery. And finally, acceptance and growth. This final stage is crucial. It’s when a woman discovers she has finally overcome her partner. This means she can go searching for a heavy thick pounding from the hottest guy she can find.

Let’s keep it short and simple, shall we? Phase one consists of Ben and Jerry’s fat chunk fudge pints that send our asses into orbit. Then, phase two is the sobbing mess that makes up the emotional female; a man can compare these emotions to him losing his pet animal. No, I apologize, it’s too many hormones, it’s really so much worse. Phase three is what categorizes the real crazy ones from the stable ones. This is the phase that most of you men might recognize.

Getting bored yet? If so, I invite you to leave now, before you die of boredom, seriously, go scratch your belly and make a sandwich, as I continue. Ah yes, phase three… have you ever been the victim of a keyed car? Have you ever had an inanimate object tossed directly towards your face? What about the old “show stopper”, you know the one… it’s a nice day for a public showing. Now, phase four is when a woman begins to reflect on past events and discover new people. Some might even have a heavy thick pounding cock that will shift her into phase five.

Welcome to phase five: give me my heavy, thick pounding!

Oh, phase five, acceptance and growth. The growth part is literal because at this point, the female already has several cocks in line to try out. She loves variety in this phase of her life. That’s why she cycles her men throughout the weeks of the month, kind of like you would with your best pairs of socks. The only difference is that her socks are cocks, which are giving her a heav,y thick pounding whenever she needs them. These men cook, clean, run some of her errands, and are always there for anything she needs. Oh! What men do for pussy, *sighs*.

By this point, it’s the male who has had all of his fun, space, and freedom. However, he finds himself in a lonesome pit of Pringles chips, day-old meat on his counter, and some flies in his soup. He discovers his massive loss and is now left to thrive five against one. Get it? Five fingers, against one cock, one screen, and a mediocre drain to the latest slutty easter whore porn. Meanwhile, his counterpart is taking the cock of her life! Excuse me, that’s incorrect. I meant to say, the cocks of her life. I hope you enjoyed this insider’s scoop on the phases that make up a woman’s breakup, and how she finally gets the heavy thick pounding she’s always deserved.

Want to understand females?