Breakfast Fuck Fest: Sausage and Biscuits are the Only Way to Valentine!

Breakfast Fuck Fest

Afternoon delight might be fun every once and a while, but nothing beats sex in the morning. Whether it be before, during, or after breakfast, the morning has the afternoon topped (pun totally intended.) Nighttime is usually the right time, but so much happens after you close those eyes. The wet dreams commence and the body goes into a state of total relaxation. Those eyes open and you are ready to start your day. Hopefully, if you’re lucky, you have someone to wake up next to. You turn to your left, right, or maybe both (if you’re really lucky!) You see that someone is there waiting for you and in the next few minutes maybe just maybe, something will unfold in the most steamy and glorious way possible. With all of this said, nothing beats a Valentine’s Day breakfast fuck fest!

Fuck your dinner plans.

You can go to an overcrowded fancy restaurant any day of the week. On Valentine’s day, your dinner plans will go a little something like this (give or take): 1. Someone forgot to make the reservation (rookie move, dump their ass,) 2. It will be packed…how very romantic. 3. Too much pressure for things to go perfectly well (Surprisingly, Bridezillas are not restricted to weddings exclusively) 4. The restaurant will have a multi-course special and you WILL eat too much (have fun undergoing obligatory sex after wheeling yourself out of that *over-priced shit-hole.) 5. ***See number 4 for over-priced shithole. DO yourselves a favor. Go to dinner the night before Valentine’s, get a rest, wake up in the morning, and have a breakfast fuck fest.

A breakfast fuck fest is the only way to Valentine!

Wake up, foreplay, pop some champagne, and have her diddle that fiddle by the goddamn griddle! Get behind her while she cooks, kiss up her neck, and grab that ass. The other way around works just as well…just make sure your hard-on stands clear of the stovetop and you’re good to go! Eat and tease or play while you make a mess, it’s up to you. Just remember you’ve got the whole day to clean it up, so enjoy! The best part is you can take a nap, wake up, and do it all over again (after a steamy shower of course.) Start your morning off with a banger this Valentine’s day. Fuck the lines, save your money, and your ears to boot. No need to hear the breakups in the distance at that Michelin Star joint you just spent your rent on. Let’s learn this lesson already!

Treat your lady or man with an at-home special this Valentine’s day. Deep clean the house, learn a new recipe and make it with love, shave before bed, write a sweet note and fuck their goddamn brains out over breakfast. Cancel your plans and do something new, after all, originality is hot! After the fest has come to a close, cuddle up, watch a movie, have a light dinner, and who knows…maybe, after all, this trend will continue. But for now, Happy Valentine’s everyone!

Be sure to check out some of my other fun reads like Sex Mission Mars

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