Spicing Things Up With Some Naughty Food Play Toys From The Fridge!

Has naughty food play ever been something you incorporated into your masturbation?

There are lots of guys out there that love to get up to naughty food play. One guy told me how, when he was younger, his step-mom had given him money to get some things at the butcher shop. He saw these butterfly-cut pork chops and wondered how his dick would feel sandwiched between them. One of the things he’d been sent to buy was on sale, so he had some extra money. He bought the butterfly pork chops and stopped in an alley on his way home to masturbate with them. Then, he tossed the cum-covered chops in a dumpster and went home.

I was horrified, but he certainly wasn’t the last one to mention food play during a phone sex call. Many husbands feel terrified of their wives discovering a sex toy, so they will use food items instead. Guys have called using everything from carrots to apples up their asses. The carrot I can see, but an apple? Really? Can you imagine waking up and thinking, “Gee, this seems like a good day to stick an apple up my ass?” Horniness drives people to very questionable and sometimes dangerous choices. Is there some food you use to masturbate with? I’d love to hear about it on our phone sex call. I’ve probably heard about it before.

Salami, kielbasa, wieners, yup— all naughty food play.

People get creative when choosing their edible masturbation tools. We just got past Halloween and the pumpkins. Many of the smaller gourds are easy to hold in your hand and make for a handy sex toy. They are fairly inexpensive and discarded easily. You’d think moms might wonder though if they saw their son going up to their room with a pumpkin in hand. The scene in “American Pie” with the apple pie might have unleashed naughty food play in the minds of young men. Many would have thought of such things before, but that movie has sent some on a whole different path. Food play doesn’t always have to be pleasurable, either.

One man that told of his visits to a real-life Mistress had some unique stories. He said she’d carve a hand of ginger into a plug and insert it up his ass for the burn, since ginger is a warming spice. Another foot fetishist liked to talk of running frozen Popsicles on the soles of women’s feet. He loved to make them squirm and would alternate between the Popsicles and a hair dryer. Food gets many excited. The whole WAM fetish is about food. Wet, messy, naughty food play. Do food-covered ladies get you all hot and bothered? Some love to see a girl sit on a cake and squish it, or pour a bowl of oatmeal over her head.

One man got his girlfriend in the bath to pour milk and pudding all over herself.

He said it got him harder than he’d ever been before. Seems silly to most, but some feel very aroused by such activities. Food can be much more than nourishment for eating. For some, it can be erotic, exciting, and easily obtained. Food is pleasurable, so it’s no wonder some start thinking about food giving other pleasures. A man called last night that was using a cucumber. I always dare him to go up to the counter with nothing but a cucumber and a tube of lube. The cashier would surely get a memorable look on her face. He’s afraid wifey might find out he enjoys anal stimulation, so uses carrots and related naughty food play to easily dispose of. Toys would be too visible to hide.

He lubed up the long, fat carrot he had bought. He inserted it and was moving it in and out, driving himself wild with it. He’s able to come like that without even touching his dick. He dreams of asking his wife to use a strap-on on him but knows it would never happen. This poor guy wishes he could buy a prostate massager, but is afraid it might be found. So a carrot will have to do.

Read more of my blogs for some confessed fantasies!

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