Dirty Rhyme Time: Peter Peter Pumpkin Fucker ♕

Dirty Rhyme Time: Peter Peter Pumpkin Fucker

It’s dirty rhyme time, everybody! This blog is dedicated to my gay BFF, Bruce. Very late on the night of Halloween, he was walking home from a party. Of course, he was really drunk and not thinking clearly…so when he stepped on something squishy, he recoiled. Then he saw it was just a smashed pumpkin. Bruce was standing in front of a building that had several jack-o-lanterns on the stoop. A few others lay on the street. Revelers had obviously kicked them around. Then Bruce saw another pumpkin, almost intact except for a gaping hole on the side. This hole gave Bruce an idea. There was no one around, so he pulled out his dick and fucked the pumpkin. He is my inspiration for dirty rhyme time.

Dirty Rhyme Time: I Take a Classic Poem and Make It Sexy!

Now I bet you all know the rhyme Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater/Had a wife and couldn’t keep Her/Then he found a pumpkin shell/And there he kept her very well. Here is my dirty rhyme time version: Peter Peter Pumpkin Fucker/Found a Pumpkin, Couldn’t eat her/So he fucked that pumpkin shell/And found he could cum very well. Shall we try another? Here is Jack and Jill in dirty rhyme time: Jack and Jill went up the hill/To fetch a pail of water/Jill pushed Jack down and went to town/Riding his cock with no quarter. That’s just an old-fashioned way of saying she rode his cock without mercy! Damn, I like to ride a hard dick that way myself.

With dirty rhyme time, any poem can give you an erection.

If you can’t sleep tonight, try counting sheep this way: Mary had a lot of lambs/their fleece was white as snow/but Mary left them anyway/to become a cum-slut ho. Or try: Baba black guy have you any wool? Yes dude yes dude, three teabags full/One for the boss, one for his dame/and one for the hot boy who lives down the lane. My favorite “dirty rhyme time” rhyme of all may be: A man and a blonde went to sea/In a beautiful boat with a rudder/They took some honey for lube/Wrapped up in a rubber/The man believed in playing it safe/The blonde was his cock-sucker.

All of this started because my gay best friend fucked a pumpkin!

I’m blonde cougar Sheridan, and I love sex that is steamy-hot but also playful. You never know where a starting point can lead you. So if you have an idea that you would like to act out, let’s use our imaginations! Phone sex is such an awesome way to create any scenario. I can be the wife who cuckolds you, the mistress who adores you, the secretary who verbally humiliates you. If you like I can make up the story. Maybe we can even elaborate on my original fairy tale, The Master and the Maiden about a naughty erotic ball. Because I’m the master of dirty rhyme time and erotic wordplay. And, believe me, my bad words will make you cum well!!