An Indie Movie Porno Pt. 1: It’s Past Your Bedtime, Hallmark.

An Indie Movie Porno.

Devon was a big-city girl. Born and raised in Chicago, she lived a very fast-paced life.  She spent her mornings at the gym, maintaining that perfect hard body of hers. Devon spent her days suited up, at a monster of a law firm. A junior partner, Devon had a position coveted by many subpar men that surrounded her daily. After a long day at the grind, you could find her at a bar in the Loop, sipping scotch, while dangling those perfect legs as she sat at her barstool. After the usual incessant chattering in her ear from local barflies, she got a text message that would change her life forever. She stepped out for a phone call, but by its end, she realized her life would be put on hold. What she didn’t realize,  however, is that an Indie Movie Porno would be in her future.

Somewhere in Southern Appalachia.

After arriving at the airport, and a failed attempt at finding an Uber, she opted for a rental car. Approaching the counter, she politely asked “Are there really no Ubers in this town?” To the attendant. “Sorry ma’am, no Ubers here, we’ve just got Steve.” Her longing for the Windy City had already peaked, but she had only just arrived. She began the long drive toward the mountain that would determine her destiny. Why was she there?  Certainly not for an Indie Movie Porno, but we’ll get to that soon enough. Devon was on her way to discuss the estate of her Great Aunt Margery, who had recently passed. She was the sole heir to it all and she came to collect and get the fuck out. “It’s only a couple of weeks,” her new mantra, helped her soothe the itch of her big-city fever.

The Scenery Was Set for an Indie Movie, Porno that is…

It was a quaint, picturesque mountain town. One grocery store, a post office, and a local bar with live music. “Fuck groceries, I need a drink.” She stepped in at golden hour, with the last bit of the sun’s rays bursting through the window. The light captured one man on Stage, playing his guitar while he sang into the mic. “Holy shit, it’s Matthew McConaughey,” she screamed quietly to herself. The band took a break and her new source of entertainment walked to the bar. She quickly followed and ordered herself a drink. She glanced his way as he grabbed his beer, and said, “I’m sorry, but aren’t you Matthew McConaughey?” He smiled and said, “Yes, yes I am.” Devon quickly threw all prior obligations or any questions regarding why he would be here out the window while turning on the switch she mastered best her charm.

But, It’s Pretty Clear How this is Shaping up to be an Indie Movie Porno, Right?

Several drinks later…

“That’s the thing I love about those local farmer’s markets, I get older, and they…” Matthew McConaughey was interrupted after a 6-hour-long discussion of the importance of beekeeping. He got up quickly after hearing some news.  Unbeknownst to Devon, he had a sticky situation to attend to. He turned to her and said, ” I’m sorry darlin’, I have to go.”  She grabbed him by the collar of his cable-knit sweater and said “Not yet!” This wasn’t like one of her Hot Foreign Flings, it was fucking Matthew McConaughey. He gave her that famous side smile and said, “Alright, alright, alright…then come right this way, mama.”

Curious to see what happens next?

Stay tuned for Part two.

But, in the meantime, be sure to…

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