Little Dick Surprise: Bride’s Honeymoon Disappointment

A poor bride’s little dick surprise!

My friend was woefully disappointed by her husband’s little dick surprise. She really should have fucked the guy before she married him! But alas, she was a very prudish, good girl all through high school. She was the catholic schoolgirl type that kept her vows and promises even when she was partying with us and doing tequila shots all night. Somehow, this pretty little redhead never got to see her boyfriend’s dick until it was too late. And now, we truly can’t hear the end of it! The story’s hilarious, though. So she’s given me permission to share it with all of you.

See, for the sake of this story, we’ll call her Leah. Leah spent her middle school years in a very strict catholic school. Her parents were just as demanding of her. So even though she swapped back to public school in time to be wild with my friends and me for high school and college, she had upstanding morals from her religious upbringing. That meant she did NOT fuck her boyfriend in college until her honeymoon night. She never even saw the size of it until she was married! And so, she got quite the sobering little dick surprise.

She thought she might get lucky!

See, the guy she dated throughout college was one of the star football players. He was the upstanding picture of a red-blooded all-American athlete. And, of course, he always partied with the boys and was notorious for drinking and fucking around whenever they had an out-of-state game. We thought it was strange that he only fucked around when he was out of state. Now, we realize it may be cause he was trying to prevent the little dick rumors from getting back to his fiance. Leah had no idea he was packing a little dick surprise until it was too late.

The wedding was wonderful. There were jasmine and gardenia flowers, candles, and fairy lights— the real hometown southern fantasy. She was a vision in her pretty white mermaid wedding dress. When the reception came, she swapped it up to a spicy little minidress so she could dance and grind against her new husband all night. As we watched her dance, we wondered… had she never felt him get hard against her? Had she ever ‘felt’ how big he was? Unfortunately, the answer was no! She was still oblivious to his little dick surprise.

And the little dick surprise caught her that night.

Without hesitation, they flew off to the tropics for their honeymoon. Five hours later, I got a three-way call from her and our friend Bree, practically sobbing yet mixed with laughter. I thought: oh no, something terrible and hilarious happened. I expected something out of a sitcom, like her fiance was in the hospital because a coconut fell on his head, or something like that. But she managed to choke out the words, telling us ALL about his little dick surprise.

Picture this: the room was prepared beautifully. The concierge had the honeymoon suite all decorated for a lovely night. Rose petals covered the bed, and red candles lit a beautiful ambiance in the room. Leah laid back on the bed, propped up on her elbows. She watched her new husband excitedly as he approached her, stripping down for her like he was in his own Magic Mike show. And then, the disappointment struck. He tried to pull off his boxers confidently, ‘fake it ’til you make it.’ But when she saw the practically non-existent micropenis underneath, her eyes widened at the little dick surprise.

He was packing a little dick surprise.

The horror on her face said it all, though she said she tried to put on a poker face. Still, he must have seen it because he turned red as a tomato and his little dick seemed to get SMALLER! She joked, “If it got any smaller, it was gonna suck back into him like a fucking pussy!” I was cackling at her word choice. She grew hysteric, yet hilarious. “I shoulda known! I never felt him get hard when I sat on his lap! Not even when I grinded on him! Nothing! It’s a fucking MILK DUD!” She was screaming these words out, practically mid-tears. Her husband must have left the honeymoon suite in pure shame, or she didn’t care if he heard. She was putting his little dick surprise on blast for the world to hear.

The comparisons only got worse and worse. My poor friend yelled at the top of her lungs, now woefully aware of her mistake of never even asking for a picture of it. “I’m serious! Stop laughing! You know the scene from Hangover, with Mr. Chow and his dick that’s compared to a little mushroom?! It’s small like THAT!” I’ll tell you what… I don’t think her new husband ever quite recovered! But with a little dick like that, he should have found a way to warn the poor girl. What an utter disappointment. Tell me, do you have a cock worth bragging about? Or a ‘milk dud’ you need to WARN us about?

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