It’s that time of year again! Don’t have a partner to spend the chilly months with? Well, boo hoo for you. Just kidding, (kind of) but there are plenty of apps available to solve that problem. This is prime online dating season. Take a look at your phone and open an app, any app. Tons of new faces will pop up as they are now desperate to spend these colder months with an available warm body. They are willing to downgrade, which means even you have a chance (wink, wink.) Someone to wine and dine them, Netflix and chill them, and receive hopefully more than the occasional deep dicking. Are you paying attention? Good! This is for you so you can dive in, and get your dick wet, all before the summer months come along and you can say “poolside.” It’s time for Cuffing Season Sex.
Half warm, half cold, concluding with hot girls in sexy costumes with hard nipples during a freezing Halloween. Now, it’s Holiday time! The days are meant to be shared, even if it is with some blonde you met on Tinder 3 days ago. All the rules are out the window. Yes, you take her home for Thanksgiving. She will even give you a handy under the table while the turkey is being carved, probably. Cuffing season sex is in essence, a hall pass for dating someone even when you know it won’t last. It’s almost assumed, unless by some miracle you met organically at a bar like in the good ole days. Even then, your hands may be tied, and you will absolutely be official by Valentine’s Day, ya SHMUCK.
The way to look at it is like this- You’re at a Seafood restaurant. Is it the best? No. It’s it decent? Yes. Will you get food poisoning from this spot? Probably not, but also, don’t order fish on a Monday. Anyway, let’s not get distracted here. The point is, when it’s stone crab season, you order the claws. ORDER THE CLAWS. CUFFING SEASON SEX. You have a window, and it’s not the longest, so fucking order the stone crab. Will it be the best dinner ever? Probably not. Was it definitely frozen last night and it’s been thawing in a walk in the last several hours? Absolutely. But you don’t have a fucking choice. You get them when you can, however that may be. And that my friends, means it’s time to order. So put on your bib and get to crackin’.
Gentleman, or wankers, whatever your pronouns may be, our time together is almost done here. You’ve been given the tools, (you being the biggest one of all) and you can now gather your thoughts and act quickly. If you don’t have the apps, get them. Take a shower, trim your pubes, and slap your commitment face on, asshat. It’s time to be charming so you can get laid for the next 5 months, consistently! If not, you can go out in February and hope for a sloppy one-night encounter that ends with you having blue balls, or go home and play Scrabble, ALONE. You may need a little help with that profile, but I happen to know an expert. Get your thumbs ready and happy swiping!
Need a little help preparing for Cuffing Season Sex?
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If so, be sure to…
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Had a long and lovely call with Avalon this weekend. She is a wonderful person who is fun to speak with about anything, but of course, she is especially good at the phonesex part of the conversation. She listens intently, knows what her client likes, and contributes her own ideas to the calls. I switched things up in the middle of our call and she didn’t miss a beat, figured out quickly where I was going and met me there in a way that completely fulfilled the fantasy. She is, and remains, extraordinary.
Honestly, Scarlett is absolutely incredible. She is far from an average operator. In fact, she is sexy, passionate, and mesmerizing. I never wanted the call to end, and you won’t either!
Aileen~ Awesome as Usual!
Aileen is the best! We have had quite a few date nights now and she drives me crazy each time. She knows me and what I like now and plays until I can’t take it anymore…in a good way of course. It’s also fun to laugh with her during “pillow talk”. The time always goes too fast! As always, looking forward to next time.
On our latest call Aileen deemed me to be Her sickest disciple, after previously telling me I am the most pathetic. I am so honored to be Her sickest most pathetic disciple. Aileen has brought me so far. I love ❤️ and worship Her and pray that our journey continues forever. Aileen rules!
Michelle’s voice and ideas were very exciting!! I can’t wait until our next adventure!! Everyone should give her a call she won’t disappoint you. When you call her, I’m sure you’ll be feeling the same way!!
Simply put, Vicky is and always has been amazing. She is so much fun to play with and talk to!
Zoey was amazing. The minute our call started, she knew what I needed and delivered like no other has. She is Spectacular!
This red-headed vixen blew more than my fantasy away! Talk about knowing what to do and how to do it…. This was by far the best I have had in a long time.
I feel Mistress Megan is in charge even when not online. I’m her slave.
Megan is extremely open minded. Plays along with even the most taboo fantasies. Close your eyes and enjoy!
Jamie has gotten insanely popular, so she is often “busy” or “offline,” but a call with her is well worth the wait. Sweet, attentive, and often funny as well as dirty, she has raised my fantasy role-play into something hotter than I ever imagined it could be.
