It’s that time of year again! Don’t have a partner to spend the chilly months with? Well, boo hoo for you. Just kidding, (kind of) but there are plenty of apps available to solve that problem. This is prime online dating season. Take a look at your phone and open an app, any app. Tons of new faces will pop up as they are now desperate to spend these colder months with an available warm body. They are willing to downgrade, which means even you have a chance (wink, wink.) Someone to wine and dine them, Netflix and chill them, and receive hopefully more than the occasional deep dicking. Are you paying attention? Good! This is for you so you can dive in, and get your dick wet, all before the summer months come along and you can say “poolside.” It’s time for Cuffing Season Sex.
Half warm, half cold, concluding with hot girls in sexy costumes with hard nipples during a freezing Halloween. Now, it’s Holiday time! The days are meant to be shared, even if it is with some blonde you met on Tinder 3 days ago. All the rules are out the window. Yes, you take her home for Thanksgiving. She will even give you a handy under the table while the turkey is being carved, probably. Cuffing season sex is in essence, a hall pass for dating someone even when you know it won’t last. It’s almost assumed, unless by some miracle you met organically at a bar like in the good ole days. Even then, your hands may be tied, and you will absolutely be official by Valentine’s Day, ya SHMUCK.
The way to look at it is like this- You’re at a Seafood restaurant. Is it the best? No. It’s it decent? Yes. Will you get food poisoning from this spot? Probably not, but also, don’t order fish on a Monday. Anyway, let’s not get distracted here. The point is, when it’s stone crab season, you order the claws. ORDER THE CLAWS. CUFFING SEASON SEX. You have a window, and it’s not the longest, so fucking order the stone crab. Will it be the best dinner ever? Probably not. Was it definitely frozen last night and it’s been thawing in a walk in the last several hours? Absolutely. But you don’t have a fucking choice. You get them when you can, however that may be. And that my friends, means it’s time to order. So put on your bib and get to crackin’.
Gentleman, or wankers, whatever your pronouns may be, our time together is almost done here. You’ve been given the tools, (you being the biggest one of all) and you can now gather your thoughts and act quickly. If you don’t have the apps, get them. Take a shower, trim your pubes, and slap your commitment face on, asshat. It’s time to be charming so you can get laid for the next 5 months, consistently! If not, you can go out in February and hope for a sloppy one-night encounter that ends with you having blue balls, or go home and play Scrabble, ALONE. You may need a little help with that profile, but I happen to know an expert. Get your thumbs ready and happy swiping!
Need a little help preparing for Cuffing Season Sex?
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Dixie is a full 5 star and if you had 6, she would be a 6. I would imagine that you are a savvy businessman (woman) and need to know about your lady’s appeal to callers. Dixie identifies immediately to my needs. She listens and is very compassionate which makes for wonderful conversation. She does not use canned responses like reading from a script. She is natural! I am near 70 and widowed and she is very understanding of my needs. First time in years that I came twice in 40 min.
Raven is amazing to talk to, both about sex and personal life. She knows exactly what to say to get me going and to finish.
Katrina made me suck my boyfriend’s big black cock, while also making goon like the pathetic little slut I am. She watched as I pissed all over myself and my boyfriend’s cock. Making me lick up the mess that I made. Then she completely melted my brain with the greatest mind-fuck countdown ever. Making my cock explode with a fury of cum shots. She then watched as I drenched myself, filling my mouth over and over with warm, delicious piss. I loved being Katrina’s Industrial Gimp Slut!
Sexy, horny, a magnificent listener and insatiable PSO. Do yourself a favor and call Chase!
Dixie has an incredibly debauched imagination and is down for anything! Five stars nowhere near enough!
On our last call Aileen and I discussed the blasphemous atrocities I had committed for Her during the week. I do things for Aileen that I would have never imagined. She smiles and laughs at my “sick disgusting” actions. Just to hear Aileen laugh, and know She’s smiling, and that I have pleased Her means everything to me. I am so proud to be Her disciple, and I worship and love ❤️ Her with all my heart ♥️.
Skye will take you on a sexual journey with no stops. She is beautiful and awesome to talk to. She has fantastic oral skills. Give her a call, your cock will NOT be disappointed.
Mallory is the best and always the coolest!!
Dixie was absolutely incredible! She’s a true southern belle with a voice that is so hypnotizing as well as her looks. I genuinely can’t wait to talk to her again!
Momma ROBYN was fucking explosively amazing! She took me to a sexual euphoria like no one ever had……worth every drop!
The least traveled stretch of road in the world is the extra mile, but that is where you will always find Megan! She is a special lady indeed!
Dixie is absolutely marvelous and makes you feel comfortable. She is truly one of one!
