3 Myths about BDSM ♕

3 Myths about BDSM

As your friendly neighborhood Phone Sex Queen, Karina, I’ve heard a lot of ideas about BDSM that make me…well cringe. Let’s get some things straight.

The First Myth About BDSM

Myth #1: There is a definitive “correct” or “incorrect” way to initiate a 24/7 BDSM dynamic.  Sex is fluid. Nothing is ironclad. While there are some key factors to consider, the idea of a strict right or wrong approach may not be entirely accurate. Ultimately, what truly matters is finding a method that works for both partners and creates a healthy and fulfilling dom/ sub relationship.

The myth lingers, whispering promises of a perfect 24/7 BDSM relationship, where all problems dissolve and happiness reigns supreme. But the first truth that must be accepted is that such a utopia is unattainable. If you want to create a proverbial utopia, try a session of phone sex therapy.

Instead, those involved in any BDSM relationship must embrace three universal principles: emotional and physical safety, clear-mindedness, and wholehearted consent to every aspect of the dynamic. These foundations are essential for a healthy and fulfilling experience in the world of kink.

The second truth is that everyone must have their needs met, no matter the cost. In a 24/7 BDSM relationship, the owner and property must always be completely satisfied.

It Won’t Be Perfection, At First

But this perfection comes at a price – constant work and constant sacrifices. There will never be a moment of rest or relaxation, only an endless cycle of pushing towards an unattainable ideal.

And in this tumultuous journey, BDSM relationships possess moments of sheer bliss as well as moments of utter chaos. The relationship may even need to be put on hold or redefined altogether. But in the end, the relentless pursuit of perfection consumes all.

Your sexual fantasies can consume you, driving you to seize control of your pleasure and embark on wild, erotic adventures. But don’t forget that the people involved are real, not just characters in your twisted daydreams.

And if reality falls short of your expectations, take a step back and appreciate what is instead of constantly yearning for more from your depraved imagination. Embrace the raw, unfiltered truth and let it fuel your insatiable desires.

Myth #2: Things should always be set in stone … or contracts.

A contract between an owner and a property can provide a solid framework for defining responsibilities, needs, desires, and limitations. It is a crucial aspect of any agreement. However, it should not be seen as a static document, unable to adapt to changes in life or the dynamic between parties. Instead, it should be treated as a living entity, open to adjustments and even complete rewrites if necessary.

Effective communication is key here: all parties involved in a BDSM relationship must be free to speak their truths without any barriers. It’s just like when you call me for phone sex.

This allows for a fluid and positive exchange of ideas and concerns. Sharing fears and concerns should be met with unwavering support, not punishment. Positive reinforcement for open communication is crucial, especially during moments of happiness and pleasure in a relationship.

Regular check-ins outside of roles may also help maintain healthy communication and trust between partners.
The foundation of any successful contract is built on trust, so it’s important to address any fears of abandonment or retaliation when setting boundaries or making changes.

No one should fear speaking up about their needs or wanting to alter the contract – even if it means completely changing the terms. Open and honest communication is vital for a strong and healthy dynamic.

Myth #3: Owners and property should never doubt or need a break.

The fantasy of BDSM dynamics often portrays owners as infallible beings, always in control and never needing a break. However, the reality is that we all have lives outside of our roles, which can affect the dynamic. Be flexible. Adapt. It should be viewed as a strength rather than a weakness.
Ideally, there should be an understanding within the relationship that life will inevitably bring changes and challenges, and both parties may need to step away or adjust the dynamic to deal with these situations.

Whether full-time or part-time, any BDSM relationship requires ongoing effort and may not always work out. However, it’s worth trying as personal journeys differ and you may discover new things about yourself.