My Early Sex Chronicles: How I Learned About Sex

Goldilocks

When I was younger I ordered hundreds of dollars of porn off of pay-per-view cable. I remember people dry humping each other’s ‘private parts.’  When I simulated the act with one of my life sized Barbie dolls, it felt really good to rub myself up against her plastic parts. There was one paper-per-view movie that stuck out to me, probably because it was based off of a classic childhood story. Its plot line followed that of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. However, as I’m sure you can guess the three bears had three very erect and throbbing penises of various sizes for Goldilocks to test out. This memory is my first memory of sex, and thus began my early sex chronicles.

Early Sex Chronicles

I got away with ordering a precocious amount of paper-per-view porn, for about a month before I was caught. Little did I know I had been running up the family cable bill. Having lived with my great-grandmother, my grandmother, and my mom, so it was fairly obvious who the horny culprit was. I knew when these early sex chronicles began because my mom chose to confront me about my secret sexual exploits, in the car ride way home from the movies. We had just seen the sequel to a classic animated Disney movie, I loved growing up. My mom looking at me in the backseat, through her rearview mirror asking if I had begun watching any new shows. I remember hanging my head in shame, knowing I had been caught, but still had the sense not to say I’ve been watching people humping each other naked.

My mother made it a short conversation. She said what I had been watching was made for adults, which is why it was on the ‘special’ channels that you had to pay extra for. I think she was mostly mad that I ran up the cable bill. At this point, in my early sex chronicles, I realized I’d have to continue the pleasure of dry humping my life-size Barbie in secrecy.

Real Sex: After Hours

As I grew older, I found out I didn’t have to order pay-per-view porn in order to find sexual content. I could just stay up late and watch on the premium movie channels like Starz, Cinemax, and of course HBO. If I stayed up late enough they started playing those dirty movies for free! By this point I was well acquainted with the idea of sex. At this point, I was even more so acquainted with my own sexual pleasure. Even though they didn’t actually show the private parts, I was enthralled by the naked sensuality between partners. The grasping, gasping, and moaning that came with each touch, thrust, and caress had my little clitoris tickling with sensation.

It was during these late night sneaky sessions that I also discovered the HBO show Real Sex.  The Essential HBO Reader described this docuseries as “a peek into the diversity of sexual activities…with an emphasis that ranges from the unusual to the bizarre.” This discovery ushered me into the second chapter of my early sex chronicles. It truly opened me up to the world of sex, sexuality, and all things kink and kinky. I would silently watch the show with the closed captions on, enthralled by everything I was taking in. Hearing people’s sex confessions, and learning about the different facets of pleasure and sexuality, my curiosity only grew.

Coming Out Kinky

These examples of my early sex chronicles had the biggest impact on my journey to becoming a mistress of pleasure. From the beginning, my understanding of sex and sexuality was framed through the lens of seeking physical pleasure. Moving forward I spent my independent time exploring all roads that lead back to that euphoric sensation. Regardless of what the world around me said, I questioned, how could something that felt so good be so bad? Through shows like Real Sex I saw the fun and freeing aspects to the world of sex. A type of sexual liberation that broke through the barriers of societal shame and repression. These early experiences made me curious and open to all types of sexual exploration. This, of course, sparked my own journey toward coming out kinky.

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