Wouldn’t it be fun to have a super hot witch as your main lady? She would absolutely have to be your number one. I don’t think she would be too happy being a side witch for just any mortal dude roaming the forest. This is of course, if you were lucky enough to get this baddy’s attention. Then maybe if you were able to get her excited enough, she would in turn…put a spell on you…and now you’re hers! That sounds lovely. But, not so fast! This isn’t some get-witch-quick scheme, you’ll have to earn the love of that cold black-hearted bitch…I mean witch, ahem. She’s got a few tricks up her sleeve to say the least while you have none, so keep your eyes open. Make sure she’s the one while following the steps in my Spooky Witch Girlfriend Guide!
While you can’t really “Try before you buy” in this scenario, you can certainly take a peek at the goods! The photos alone should not be enough. Take a look at her spell-i-fications (Spells she is qualified in performing.) This may seem unimportant while you are staring at a photo of a hot witch riding her Tesla Broom, but it is. The Spooky Witch Girlfriend Guide was put in place to not only help you choose the right witch for you, but to keep it that way! All of these ladies of the dark arts are able to stay young…forever. So think of who you want by your side for close to eternity, because you can stay young too…if she likes you enough. She might even shrink you down for a laugh. A Shrunken Man Halloween is always a good time!
Go to orientation! Don’t be intimidated, you deserve this as much as anyone else! Just don’t fuck it up. Sometimes these events are bombarded by idiots, savages…and well, idiots! Although the witches are perfectly capable of defending themselves, just know they have giant Orc bouncers lining the forest. Take this seriously, or you may end up as a frog…or worse, slop on a tray in the Orc mess hall. Just be your best self, and impress the witch you came to meet. Dress to impress and make sure you’re extra super CLEAN! A witch can smell a dirty boy from a mile away! If you stink she might turn you into a mouse while she cackles loudly. Or just slop on a tray in the Orc mess hall, just sayin’.
The final step in The Spooky Witch Girlfriend Guide! Cross your voodoo lady and she will do more than haunt your dreams and drive you crazy. What she says go, always. She clearly knows what’s best anyway! A witch can cast spells…what can you do dickhead? She doesn’t care about your fantasy football league! Very little will impress her. A witch cares about loyalty and obedience! Do both and maybe you won’t end up as slop in the yada-yada-yada- you get the picture. If you are lucky enough to score such a lady, count your blessings. Who is better than a hot witch? A witch can do things with her body a mere mortal cannot… and pretty bendy to boot!
Happy Halloween!
Looking for a Halloween-themed role-play while you spank your broomstick?
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