The Hot Traveling Harlot: A Quest for the Holy Fuck Fest!

The Hot Traveling Harlot.

There’s nothing like a whorey little tour across the country to really get your summer started. Travel with friends, and do some minor sightseeing, but always keep your priorities in order. Your priorities are fucking, by the way. Not just fucking for fuck’s sake, but fucking your way across the country like you are on the council for curating a fuck-masterpiece. Choose the perfect candidates to fulfill both your desires and geographical curiosities. You wouldn’t go to Spain to fuck a French painter, would you? No! You want a goddamn matador and a matador you shall have! You will watch him fight and then ride his cock atop his red muleta. Get the picture? The same goes for the States. Only here, you’ll have a plethora of possibilities to tickle your pickle holder. So here are some freaky tips from yours truly, the Hot Traveling Harlot.

Let’s Start With The Dick Of the Country.

Florida. Miami to be precise. If you’re looking for swamp men, you can find them here too, but let’s make this part of the quest sexy, not murder-y, yeah?  First stop, South Beach.  This post may seem like it’s only speaking to the ladies, but fear not, all you bi-curious boys out there.  If there is one thing this Hot Traveling Harlot knows it’s the beach. Miami Beach has plenty of bars just for you! Just follow the line of rollerblading hard bodies in Speedos, they’ll show you the way! Or, hit up a fancy hotel and find yourself a sexy Latino in the swanky lobby bar. Hey, you’re already in a hotel, and he may be kind enough to show you his fat Cuban. I’m talking about his dick, but hey, you could Monica Lewinsky his ass and request a nice cigar too. He’ll have one. ¡Que rico!

The Hot Traveling Harlot Heads North.

Let’s travel up the east coast to see what we can find, shall we?  Pit stop in ATL, obviously – rapper’s delight! Head up to D.C., snag a politician, and blackmail him! This will fund the rest of your trip. You’re welcome! Then, The Big Apple. The melting pot of all melting pots. Where do we begin? Wanna dominate a finance guy for the weekend? He’ll love to be put in a cage while you take his Amex on a little (big) shopping spree! Maybe you’re looking to turn your trip into a musical. Hit up, Broadway! Just know, no matter where you turn, there will always be a construction worker willing to fall off his scaffold to catcall you. Hey, when in Rome.

Next Stop, New England.

If there is one thing that this Hot Traveling Harlot cannot deny, is a New England accent! And of course, chowda! While the brutality of a Boston man can certainly get my blood pumping, I’m only into it for a pit stop. The real glorious ending to this Northeastern tour would have to be Maine. A man who gets his hands dirty. Whether he is chopping lumber, working through several feet of snow, or trapping lobstahs, the Maine man should be your main man. Maybe you’re not on the hunt but just want to watch. If you’re interested in a voyeur travel guide, I’ve got you covered too!

Curious to see where this well-traveled trollop heads next?

If so, be sure to…

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