Spooky Ghost JOI: It’s Like She Was Never Even There!

Spooky Ghost JOI.

It was a pandemic purchase. A big Victorian fixer-upper, out in the middle of nowhere. Jack inherited a little money and decided that if this lockdown were to continue indefinitely, it might be a good idea to have a nice, big, open space. For him and his wife, of course. Jack made little trips throughout the week, sometimes before, sometimes after work. He chipped away at it little by little, and by 2025, it was liveable. His wife was visiting a friend for the weekend, and he decided to add the final touches to the bedroom to make it nice and cozy. He would stay for those couple of days overnight, for the first time. The first evening there, he showered with hot running water, slipped into their cozy new bed, and closed his eyes. He had no idea he was about to get to Spooky Ghost JOI!

On The Verge of Slumber, He Heard a Strange Tapping Sound on The Hardwood.

With his eyes still shut, he said in a mumble, “Are those heels?”  As his eyes began to open, he saw a figure in front of him. He quickly snapped into focus only to hear a loud “BOO!” He screamed in a fairly pathetic manner, and then, she, who booed, began to giggle. “You scream like you’ve got a fanny between there!” She said with an old English accent that was both rough and intriguing. “Are you ready for Spooky Ghost JOI?” She said, plopping on the bed. He trembled and stuttered, trying to find a single word. “You, you, you’re d-dead? I m-m-mean, you’re gonna haunt me?” She nodded and began her little show and tell, like she did hundreds of years ago. “Well, I’ll tell you how ta wank it, but you’re going to have to tell the Gods I’m allowed to stay, forever.” 

“Spooky Ghost JOI?”

He asked, still confused. “Ay didn’t stutter, did ay?” She said, a tad annoyed at his stupidity. “One more time. I’m dead, and sexy, and will instruct you how to pull. You know, on your pego, your whore pipe, your shaft of delight, if you may. Jesus Christ, are you daft?  YOUR BLOODY PRICK, MATE!” She said, in an annoyed, ghostly way. “Is this because I moved in next to an old cemetery?” He asked, dumbly. “Ok, so I’m here, with a near-perfect arse, and you’re curious about real estate? You takin’ a piss or summit, are ya? PULL OUT YOUR LOBCOCK YOU TWAT!” That seemed to do the trick. He finally took it out and had it in his hand. “What if my wife finds out?” He said, concerned. “I’m a spirit darling. In the shake of a lamb’s tail, I can go poof! Just like that!”

He Agreed To The Spooky Ghost JOI.

They got started, and after a few minutes, he was done. She began to laugh and said. “Ok, that will be $1000.” He began to panic and said, “What! I thought you just needed me to speak to the Lords or whatever! Didn’t you say that? You also said my wife wouldn’t find out! Gosh, what have I done! What could you possibly do with cash? Also, where did your accent go?” She stood up. “I’m from Scottsdale, asshole. I literally just walked in from off the street and made up this story to rob you. It worked. Unless you want this video shown to your wife?” She said as she pointed to her phone propped on the dresser nearby. For more fun reading and science fiction, check out last week’s entry, Sploshing Space Mistress. 

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