It’s that time of year again! Don’t have a partner to spend the chilly months with? Well, boo hoo for you. Just kidding, (kind of) but there are plenty of apps available to solve that problem. This is prime online dating season. Take a look at your phone and open an app, any app. Tons of new faces will pop up as they are now desperate to spend these colder months with an available warm body. They are willing to downgrade, which means even you have a chance (wink, wink.) Someone to wine and dine them, Netflix and chill them, and receive hopefully more than the occasional deep dicking. Are you paying attention? Good! This is for you so you can dive in, and get your dick wet, all before the summer months come along and you can say “poolside.” It’s time for Cuffing Season Sex.
Half warm, half cold, concluding with hot girls in sexy costumes with hard nipples during a freezing Halloween. Now, it’s Holiday time! The days are meant to be shared, even if it is with some blonde you met on Tinder 3 days ago. All the rules are out the window. Yes, you take her home for Thanksgiving. She will even give you a handy under the table while the turkey is being carved, probably. Cuffing season sex is in essence, a hall pass for dating someone even when you know it won’t last. It’s almost assumed, unless by some miracle you met organically at a bar like in the good ole days. Even then, your hands may be tied, and you will absolutely be official by Valentine’s Day, ya SHMUCK.
The way to look at it is like this- You’re at a Seafood restaurant. Is it the best? No. It’s it decent? Yes. Will you get food poisoning from this spot? Probably not, but also, don’t order fish on a Monday. Anyway, let’s not get distracted here. The point is, when it’s stone crab season, you order the claws. ORDER THE CLAWS. CUFFING SEASON SEX. You have a window, and it’s not the longest, so fucking order the stone crab. Will it be the best dinner ever? Probably not. Was it definitely frozen last night and it’s been thawing in a walk in the last several hours? Absolutely. But you don’t have a fucking choice. You get them when you can, however that may be. And that my friends, means it’s time to order. So put on your bib and get to crackin’.
Gentleman, or wankers, whatever your pronouns may be, our time together is almost done here. You’ve been given the tools, (you being the biggest one of all) and you can now gather your thoughts and act quickly. If you don’t have the apps, get them. Take a shower, trim your pubes, and slap your commitment face on, asshat. It’s time to be charming so you can get laid for the next 5 months, consistently! If not, you can go out in February and hope for a sloppy one-night encounter that ends with you having blue balls, or go home and play Scrabble, ALONE. You may need a little help with that profile, but I happen to know an expert. Get your thumbs ready and happy swiping!
Need a little help preparing for Cuffing Season Sex?
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Bailee was super enthusiastic and rolled right into playing out the fantasy I had. She is phenomenal.
Amber is kind and understanding of my needs. She would make a good friend!
This was only my second call with Addison, and I am already addicted to her sexy voice. She knows exactly how to command and control me. Love the way she takes me all the way to the edge, before she gives me the hands off command. Looking forward to obeying her more often.
Vanessa is simply amazing. She can be so precious or be so fucking wicked. Her oral skills are insane. She will make your cock cum, cum and cum again. If you want a spicy and wicked good time, Call Vanessa!!
Had a super hot call with Gracie! Her voice sounds so innocent and seductive at the same time. She is so sexy and we always conclude with an explosive finish.
Brittany is Amaaaaaazing! I don’t think she has said no to any fantasy I have. She always plays roles I come up with to perfection and with realism, sexiness and intelligence. It feels organic, like it’s really happening. In addition, she is enjoyable to talk to casually about my life, hers, or miscellaneous stuff. I hope it is not naïve that I consider her to be my friend. I feel special and fulfilled with my conversations with her, not limited to but certainly including sexually. I believe that my life has become enriched through calling her. Please give her the highest possible praise.
Another perfect call with sexy loving Amber my phone sex big sister for life! Not only my big sister, but my Goddess big sister!
Kat role played my fantasy perfectly. It was probably the best ever. It seemed so real. I will be calling her again in the future!
Romi once again gave me such a great time. She knows me well! I was way to tired tonight but she made sure I was more than satisfied sexually. No matter what, she knows how to deliver. I am always well pleased!
Amber listened to what I wanted, did exactly what I wanted and MORE! I am no longer alone because of her. She is my rainbow and my phone sex big sister for life. I love her!
Aileen is excellent. She has a very sexy, pleasant voice and really understands how to fulfill your desires!
Jacey is the sweetest with a twist in a very good way. She puts you right at ease and makes your call with her so fun and amazing!