420 Sex Party: It’s Reefer Madness!

420 Sex Party.

 

First and foremost. Let’s make sure we operate responsibly during this upcoming foul-iday. Whether or not your state has legalized it, let’s be safe. And by safe I mean don’t wheel your uncle into a bank and Weekend at Bernie’s his ass. As long as you aren’t doing that you’ll probably be ok. Probably. Ahem, moving on. I think I was about to talk about something sexy and most likely glorious! But, maybe also don’t get on a Dreamliner, ride a new Tesla, or eat basil from Trader Joe’s while you’re at it. You think I’m being informative, but I’ve discreetly made you want to say the hell with everything and get to fucking. Ah fucking, there it is. Maybe it’s time we discuss what I would do if I threw a 420 Sex Party. Take notes.

There Would Be Infinite Snacks and Beverages Laid Out For The Party.

You will need something after Brad from accounting has left you with a bad taste in your mouth and you’d like to wash it all down with a tall cool Busweiser. Don’t just invite your closeted freak co-workers. Your hot neighbor chicks cook all day. They slave away preparing meals, doing “The hardest job in the world.” I THINK they can spare more than a PB and J when they aren’t busy doing brain surgery. Oops, I meant parenting. Anyway, it wouldn’t be a 420 sex party without the good grub. Munchin’ on the grindagggge is an absolute must for this special day. FYI, it might be a good idea to hit 7-Eleven on 4/19. You don’t want to be empty-handed for your guests while they are full-handed…giving hand jobs. Don’t be a fucking nerd. Also, don’t forget the ice, you dick.

Ain’t No Party Like a 420 Sex Party.

Well, there probably are parties like that and most likely better. However, you won’t be invited to those parties.  This is a party you can manage. Maybe. Did you get the weed yet? If not, you already fucked up.  Can you imagine? People show up with a joint here and a joint there. That sounds like a regular Wednesday afternoon. They are expecting a grand entrance while they prepare to blaze their minds away for the next 12 hours. There needs to be a bathtub filled to the brim with flour and a gravity bong that could fly you to the moon and sink you like the Titanic submarine. Mmmm, sub sandwiches. Don’t forget those. At some point, someone should be jumping off of your roof into your neighbor’s pool. So, THAT MUCH weed. Also, edibles and some booze while you’re at it. Ya know, to take the edge off!

Your 420 Sex Party Task List is ALMOST Complete.

Last stop. However, this isn’t fucking Easter Sunday.  This is an important holiday. So don’t fuck it up! Also, you still need the toys! Generally speaking, the sex shop will have those, so yeah. This is the shop where you need to be open-minded. Don’t just get the things you want. Instead, get the things other people freak over! If not, Brad is never going to let you have a snack break and everyone will be all up in there 24/7 on 420, 69’ing your ass and there will be no time to hit that 8 ball. You will be zeroed in on, is what I’m trying to say. In any case, just remember the three stops. Snack shop, smoke shop, sex shop. SSSsssss. It’s like like you’re hitting that joint already. Happy weed day!

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