Round, round, get around, I get around…get around, woo-woo-woooooo! As soon as I stepped out for a walk this morning, the Beach Boys sprung right into my head. Warm weather is upon us, my friends! This weekend is just a little sneak peek of what’s to come. With all of the outdoor activities, air shows, and festivals, it’s bound to be a hot one! The bikinis and shorts are out, and here to stay! For a few more months at least it will be Sexy Swimsuit Season! With all of this excitement, people will certainly be in a good mood, and maybe a little friendlier than usual. Most likely more drunk than usual! With all that said, I know this isn’t a holiday we “celebrate,” But it certainly turned out that way. It’s time to pack your cooler, hit the beach, and find that Memorial Day fling!
If you find yourself wandering aimlessly through crowds, just follow the music. Hot girls always have music playing. How else will they show off their sexy dance moves? Just follow the tunes and eventually, you’ll find your new group. Don’t just stand there like a creep though, participate. How else will you find your Memorial Day fling? Let me be more clear. Provide booze and lots of it. Remember that handy cooler I told you to pack? Well, it shan’t be empty good sir! It should be overflowing with the goods. Speaking of overflowing, maybe wear some tight undies if it’s been a long Winter for you. No matter how much booze, a giant daylight boner will make you a little less appetizing.
Remember when I said don’t be a creep? Well, yeah, still don’t do that. However, now it’s time to start chatting with everyone, not just the ladies! Stay cool honey bunny! I know the gals have got you sweatin’, but you need to play it cool. Women love a confident man who can talk to everyone. It makes us feel at ease! You probably are a solid guy, so just show her! If you aren’t cool, maybe just stick to being a peeping tom. There are plenty of hotels with balconies overlooking the beach (wink wink.) Moving on. Now that you’ve scoped the seem, it’s time to strike a pose…and vogue! Just kidding, just figure out who interests you the most!
I hope so! If she is smiling like crazy and not falling over, then you’ve done well my friend. Maybe she’s from out of town (even better) and is just staying for the long weekend. So you spend that night hanging with her and her friends and get to first base. By day two, you’ll be sneaking off to your place. I hope you cleaned. Also, don’t leave any hammers just lying around. She’ll be out the door in no time! Have a playlist ready, or find one suitable to her. Have a great breakfast spot for day three and stay hydrated! Happy flinging!
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