It is almost that time of year again. Some of you are ball and chained FA life, and some of you just hunkered down for winter cuffing season sex. Well, if you are in group number two, or a cheater, let’s dig in. Shall we? March kicks off an entire slew of activities that are perfect for dating. Whether you are looking for the “one” or just want to get laid, all of this applies to you. We’ve got March Madness, the Oscars (fancy,) and a holiday where the entire purpose is to get shit-canned wasted. Take your pick, pick all three, or do what you want, the world is your fucking oyster. Nevertheless, let’s proceed to the goods, a.k.a my sage advice. Let’s get going guys. Winter can get you down. It’s time to pull yourself up by your bootstraps while starting March Dating Season!
Rule number 1- Don’t think you’ll win any woman over by only calling it by what it actually is, The Academy Awards. You’ll sound pompous and you won’t get laid OR have another date, so there. We have until March 10th for THE OSCARS. This means you need to get one or two dates in before the big “Oscar and Chill” night at your place. March dating season is all about the finesse. If you don’t start strong now, you’ll never finish (wink, wink.) For example, “Hey girl, would you like to watch the Oscars at my place on Sunday? I hear Ryan Gosling is going to perform.” Would be a great start. Then absolutely whatever you do, do not sing “I’m just Ken.” If you are Kenough (you aren’t,) you certainly will never be Kenough after that embarrassing moment. Just order her favorite pizza and get wine, ya jackass!
Yes, she might not be into college basketball. OR maybe she loves college basketball! Either way, it’s such chaos, it’s a good opportunity for you to teach her a whole lot in a short period of time. Find ways to get her involved. Make little bets. You could even make a bet and the winner picks the next date night. It’s a win-win. If she is into it, good for you man. Either way, sports bars everywhere will be playing it non-stop. There is potential drinking involved/loosening up a bit/maybe sexy time? Either you’ll find a nice girl show her something you love, or you’ll find a bad girl and show her something else you love.
Top of the mornin’ wood edition. But, this particular day is cheesy, it’s over-the-top, it’s fun, kind of gross, it’s St. Patricks Day. But, you’ll either embrace it or avoid it. Either way, it’s part of your life, so deal! If you both want to get sloshed with a thousand others, go to the Irish pubs. If you are turning up your nose at the thought of that, take her to a cool bar. Best case scenario, you’ll still get drunk (maybe laid.) In addition, there will be plenty of people on the street for you to make fun of while you scheme your next steps, you Goddamn snob! Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.
Do you have more questions about March Dating Season?
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If so, be sure to…
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