Drunk Dick Dialing Should Come With A Warning. ♕

Drunk Dick Dialing Is A Thing Friends Should Stop You From Doing.

OK, before I start, don’t look at me with those judgy eyes. Everyone drunk dials. I just did a drunk dick dial. I’m on my 26th. You know, I like to go out and party and have a good time. And yes, when I’m out partying, I tend to drink. And sometimes I tend to drink a lot, first of all, little cute me with my tiny frame. I can handle a lot more liquor than you’d think. Secondly, if you know me, you know I am competitive. So, even the weirdest competitions, like who can drink the most and take another shot without getting sick, bug me, and I need to win. One thing I am guilty of, and I seem to be winning at always, is drunk dick-dialing.

A lot of my girlfriends already have boyfriends, and the other half are super sluts, So they’ve picked out the guy they’re taking home by the time we leave the bar.  Which then leaves me to fend for myself and resort to drunk dick dialing again.  So I stumble into my house, kicking off my shoes and lying across my favorite cozy chair. Thinking, what’s next? Why should I be alone? If I’m just too drunk to masturbate, too lazy, almost. No, we will blame it on the alcohol.

Drunk Dick Dialing Is Hard When You Can Barely See Your Phone.

So there I am, late at night, just me with my tight hungry pussy. All liquored up and full of bad decisions. I reach for my phone. And, of course, there are missed messages. Across the board, the annoying red dots of notifications on top of each little app Social media is such a bitch. There are so many ways to get a hold of me.  If you send me a new picture and it looks delicious, you might earn this special spot. It’s at the top of my drunk dick-dialing list.

I go through my phone, and it’s both exhausting and exciting. It’s like a roulette game; I am just waiting to see what lucky spot my balls will land on. No, it’s more like drunk dick dialing Russian roulette style. I’m just picking out which guy gets to shoot his shot. They all want a shot that they’re messaging and blowing up my apps. Don’t get me wrong, an extensive list of them has already had their chance with me. And that’s why they’re getting a second glance. Sometimes, I get risky and decide to go with something I’ve never sampled before. Sometimes, those are the bad times.

Ever Heard Of The Real Meaning Of Coyote Ugly? Look It Up If Not.

I wake up in the morning, regretting what I did in swearing that it’s the last time I will ever be drunk dick dialing again.   Of course, it’s not, but it’s always good to make a goal and attempt to stick with it, right? I could probably go on for hours and hours telling you of all the failures I’ve had with my experience in drunk dick-dialing.  If you’re lucky enough, I might do that.  Would you like me to share my drunk experiences with you?  Would you care to know all the sticky, messy, hard situations that got me in my vagina with just the press of a little button?  I’m typically not to say no kind of girl, and when I’ve had a few shots in I forget who I am and demand things beyond my ordinary imagination.

I can get pretty interesting. Call me soon to find out!