A shiny new year. This is your chance to jump on the bandwagon of folks who want to change how they will live their lives, starting now! At least, that’s what they like to tell themselves. Yes, we all know you are finally going to cut out dairy and limit your red meat consumption to weekends only. However, I’d like to discuss something less public, more fun, that involves your privates. Who are you going to fuck this year? Or not fuck! That is almost as interesting! Will you have a celibate year? Will you make it your mission to grab a new shag any chance you get? Or will you look for the love of your life? We are officially a quarter through this century! Dreaming was for the end of 2024. Now it’s time to make your moves. What will be your 2025 Sex Resolutions?
By the way, these are in no particular order. They are all equally important because it’s time to think about your potential, no matter your choice. You can make all of these choices within one year for all I care! Maybe you’re a seasonal aspiration type of person! Whatever tickles your fancy. Speaking of tickling fancies…Are you going to be a big giant ho-bag this year? You’ve guessed it. Option A for 2025 Sex Resolutions is, slut it up! Have you been working on your body this year and you’re finally ready to spread your wings like the beautiful butterfly that you are? Go ahead and spread em! Spread everything while you’re at it. Put the porn on pause and go find someone IRL. You’ve been waiting. This is your moment!
No sex. No hands. Um, No porn. Total SHUT DOWN. Ok, I made it seem a little grim, but have no fear! However, when this area of your life shuts down, it may open new doors you’ve never seen before. Maybe you focus on new hobbies you’ve always said you would do. If you were slutting it up, you might not have had much time for anything else. More importantly even, than hobbies, is enjoying human contact in a new manner. Maybe you’re used to talking to women or men while figuring out the fastest step to getting them into bed. While that is perfectly natural, maybe focus on the conversation. Pick their brain. Find their little nuggets of wisdom, interests, and humor. Besides, you will be very clear-headed when you finally reward yourself in 2026!
Finding love. This doesn’t mean finding someone, putting a ring on it, then popping out a few. It just means love! The result of that might not be forever. It could be you find someone, fall in love, and they continue the journey you knew they were on. Or, you might fall in love with multiple people! Maybe, you love two people who also love each other. How kinky! It can mean almost anything. Whether you decide to settle down or not, it may be your year to feel something deeper. That could mean for the next 50 years or 5 months. So think about what you would like this year. You might decide to have a fuck fest tomorrow! You might also decide to be celibate until those sexy spring babes start showing a little more skin come April!
Do you need an ear to bend while you make up your mind?
If so, be sure to…
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