CATHOLIC PHONE SEX

There are a lot of things “catholic phone sex” could mean.

What do you think “Catholic phone sex” might mean to you? It doesn’t HAVE to be sacrilegious, of course. But it could be. If you were raised Catholic, like me, you’d probably agree Catholics are more or less idolaters at the end of the day. Before receiving Confirmation, I was a young altar server. Something about putting on the robe, and holding the candle up for Father as he read from the pulpit felt erotic. There is an eroticism to mass, something sensual and dare I say trans-substantiative!

May the power of Christ compel us during our catholic phone sex call.

I remember in Catholic school sitting in the pews and wondering exactly how transubstantiation (one of my favorite concepts ever and certainly a key component of good Catholicism) worked. We learned there is ALWAYS a Catholic mass going on somewhere in the world, every hour and minute of the day. Now that I’ve grown up into the phone sex Goddess I am, I compare this to phonesex. Phone sex is always happening somewhere, and phone sex operators and clients are somewhat God-like, in the sense they are both nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

Something MORE than “peace” is going to be with you (and also with me) during our catholic phone sex call.

What’s your confirmation name? I chose St. Catherine of Alexandria. She’s the Catherine whose breasts were chopped off during her martyrdom/conviction to remain a Bride of Christ (i.e., a virgin). Catholics have a real taste for the macabre, and sometimes I think one of my “phone sex operator roots” (as in, penchant for the darker sides of spiritual sexuality) is being raised Catholic. Sometimes I miss Catholic school. Uniforms were the great equalizer, and guess who still fits into their plaid, pleated skirt and schoolgirl blouse and sweater?

The environment of the convent, catholic school (whether it was gender-segregated or not) is an IDEAL setting for power play/BDSM-style role play during our catholic phone sex call. Why are you in trouble during Religion class? Did you bring a demonic sex doll to school with you today? Tsk tsk. The naughty nun in charge must punish you now. But you knew that, even as you packed that forbidden contraband in your backpack. Didn’t you?

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy CATHOLIC PHONE SEX GODDESS.

I hold a Midnight Mass ceremony EVERY night here in my personal phone sex lair/office. And I already have the holy water out, among other things. Are you ready for me to exorcise you? Get up on the altar and have me give you a sacrament outside the official seven that exist. Fuck the Vatican. And great, perfect. I’m right here, poised to baptize you (again) and then some.

What are you waiting for? Your sins are NOT going to absolve themselves. That’s something only I can do. If you’re ready to get into the vestibule during our catholic phone sex call, let me hear you say it. “Forgive me, Goddess, for I have sinned.” I’m going to give you a LOT more penance to do than a few Hail Marys!

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