Who knew that my cross-country road trip with my girlfriend would include a destination starring an all American faggot? Well, based on what I know now about her female friends we visited, what’s going on behind closed doors in their marriages doesn’t surprise me. If you’re looking (or listening), swingers and closeted cock-suckers are EVERYWHERE. Talk about a pandemic!
I was DELIGHTED by our first hosts on our road trip adventure. They lived in a small town in South Dakota and had a very wholesome-seeming, charming family. But my spidey senses tingled that there was something underpinning this quaint Midwestern household that was anything but rated G. We were there to visit one of my girlfriend’s longtime friends she hadn’t seen in a decade. I was struck by how everyone in the family (including my girlfriend’s friend, his grown woman wife) deferred to him for things being explained or just being told what to do. Board games seemed innocuous enough, but I wasn’t impressed by a man who was QUEERLY an all American faggot masquerading this way.
Eventually, after the fireworks and the kids went to bed, we grown-ups returned to town for a night of karaoke and partying. I love going to karaoke out of town because all the KJs here have seen all my tricks. It came out that the husband was quite the thespian. His song choices evidenced this predilection for theatre, as well. Being that I myself am quite the flamboyant musical enthusiast, it endeared him to me. And towards the end of the night, my girlfriend and her friend hadn’t really had any quality time with just each other yet. I insisted the all American faggot husband and I go schmooze in the kitchen while they finished their nightcap and cigarettes.
Much to my relief, the husband didn’t share any details about their sex life with ME. I tend to feel offended when men think I’m available for this for free, since I am a professional, after all! I don’t care how if they are the biggest all American faggot in the country. Anyway, when my girlfriend and I got back on the road, I had forgotten all about our late night split-up and their gossip hour. But she hadn’t. Apparently, the husband had finally convinced her friend to open up the marriage because he was bisexual. This had been a contention in their relationship even when they were just dating.
Bisexual men want a COCK, a real, living, pulse-having, warm dick inside them. Not even the best toys on the market are a substitute for a MAN’s cock. ANOTHER man’s cock. Hence the faggotry. Want to hear the rest of the gossip from my travels? Do you have your own closeted cocksucker confessions? Give me a call, I’m right here, waiting to talk to you!

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