First and foremost, if you read this the day it was posted, congratulations and Happy Halloween! Speaking of this spooky day, it’s the reason, writing all of this, came to me. I only recently, went to a live Rocky Horror Picture Show event, with the shadow actors, the props, and the big-time audience participation. If you haven’t ever seen the movie, then today would be the perfect day! It’s bizarre and creepy and oddly, very hot. There are some funny, yet steamy, sex scenes, which are not real (unfortunately) and behind the curtains! I think, however, why not do a live show…with a little more steam? Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you, the Transylvania Sex Theater!
But, there may be a dark-haired, black-lipped Doctor, waiting for you there! A Frank-N-Furter, perhaps? I like to think the whole crew is there, with some extra friends. I figure since we are already going to not only be full frontal AND have live sex, why not just add a few new characters? It is the Transylvania Sex Theater after all, so why not add some vampires to the mix? They are almost always hot! Maybe Janet is a Vamp! Then it could be “Damnit, Janet, you drank Rocky!” She would of course make it up to Frank. I think once those fangs were down, a blow job would be in order! And you are right there to watch…how fun.
I mean he is the O.G. vampire! Except for Lilith, of course! (We’re not worthy…WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!!!) Would it be appropriate if maybe Dracula and Dr. Scott had a bit of a brawl??? Then it could be “Brad! Dr. Scott! Dracula! Brad! Dr. Scott, Dracula!” Except, by the end of that scene, Dracula has drained both Brad and Dr. Scott, and Janet is bent over the statue switch singing “Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fuck meeeeee, CREATURE OF THE NIGHT!!!!” Afterward, it would only be appropriate if Frank-N-Furtner made the two-some a threesome and the crowd finally joined in. We did say AUDIENCE participation. Did we not?
Condoms, lube, newspapers, (when it rains, it pours, in this place) tequila, a rubber glove, (for any strange examinations you find yourself giving your neighbor, doc) confetti, (we’re celebrating being able to fuck in theaters legally now, duh) bubbles, a kazoo, and of course, toast. Oh, I almost forgot- the morning-after pill! Well, I guess we’ll have to wait for January 2025 for that one! However, there will be free Viagra in the vending machine down the hall though. OF COURSE! Also! After the grand event, there will be a live taping of the Adam and Eve are Fangers Show, next door at 66.6 Vampire Radio! Prepare yourself for a steamy evening! It is going to be bloody mesmerizing! Bring a raincoat! Shower beforehand or stay in the back row, ya filthy animals! Oops, better save that one for Christmas. Happy Halloween and welcome to the Transylvania Sex Theater!!!!
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