An interesting thing happened to me this week. My driver came to deliver my Instacart order and gave me one wrong bag (I got a refund, don’t worry.) However, I did get to keep the mystery goods. “What was in here???” I wondered. Well, after coming back in and lifting the mask that was a healthy chip bag, I discovered not 1, not 2, or even 3, but 4 cartons of eggs! What could I do with all these? After the initial food preserver brain stepped aside, it made room for my fun brain…my sexy brain. I have to smash these eggs all over someone…in a sexy way! Before you go off about getting sick from eggs, lots of you are yokin’ it while doing some pretty dirty stuff after your eggo gets peggoed, so just hear me out. It’s just that time of year guys, it’s Sploshing Easter Edition!
Yes. I want to smash it on your head and call you egg face. I love that. But, I don’t want to stop there. I want to separate the whites from the yolks and make a big bowl of sugary sweet merengue so you can bathe me with it. Then we’ll get it toasty in the oven and roll it down each other’s backs. It will be so warm and crunchy, then soft and chewy. I want it between my fingers when we hold hands. This is how you do sploshing Easter edition. But what about the yolks? Key lime pie of course! I’ll always be a Miami girl at heart. The sweet whipped topping followed by the creamy tartness and finally, the graham cracker crumble. I’ll let you taste it before I slide it down your chest.
Food grade dye for the eggs, but maybe, could it be…for a toe? A Breast? A cheek? A belly? Go nuts, you’ll have the entire holiday weekend! Play paint-by-numbers with each other’s bodies! Ink each other up and place secret love notes in hard-to-see spots. Just a fun little challenge! Plus, it’s all the more time to spend bathing each other and sipping on champagne! Too bad that wasn’t accidentally put in my groceries! Then you can soak it off and let it all wash away. Only to start all over again, of course. We haven’t forgotten about frosting! Stop by the local bakery beforehand, and grab some cupcakes. If you’re really feeling ambitious, grab a 3-tiered monster-of-a-cake, and enjoy your weekend.
Marshmallows! I know this has all been egggggggsssscellent news so far on ideas to try but we definitely cannot forget that Easter means, Marshmallow Fetish Season! It wouldn’t be the same without our peeps. Our squishy, gritty, fluffy, yummy PEEPS. Hey, considering it is a religious holiday how about a little Adam and Eve action. Instead of leaves, cover those sweet goods with pink and blue marshmallows. It’s like a I-already-know-your-gender reveal party! A real peep show if you will. What a HOOT. Oh, and If all this isn’t for you, well then…go cluck yourself! Happy Easter!
Are you interested in your own Sploshing Easter edition?
It’s not too late to plan your ultimate fantasy!
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