Shrunken Man BBQ. Summer means fun in the sun and BARBEQUES! The essentials are dogs, burgers, chips, coleslaw, and the works. Generally, I like a good BRAT on the grill. However, lil’ pigs in a blanket will tide me over! Music, obviously, is a must. Poolside, is even better. I love climbing up that ladder while hearing my long legs pound onto each step. Swimming or not, I always make a BIG splash with the guests I decide to invite. You would be surprised how many people I can pack into my yard. It’s not a huge place, but they still somehow manage to get lost! In fact, half the time, they never leave the party. That’s not what I tell their families of course! The one thing I know how to do is how to have fun.
Finding My Special Guests. I drive pretty far out. Generally, a few hours from my house. This allows me to get away with, I mean get… all sorts of new faces! Sometimes I just follow them and BAM, an introduction is made. Sometimes I like a little challenge. I’ll go out to the woods, find some hunters. It’s amazing how quickly the tables are turned! By the end, they always know they HAVE to go to my party! By this time, they know they are going to a shrunken man bbq, and hell, by the time we’re out of the forest, they fit the bill! I love my new friends. They always do exactly as I say! It always helps that they have all that camo gear. All this space for me to throw them, ahem, things, in! They wanted to hide, and now they are! How serendipitous! How exhilarating.
And voila! One hundred new friends in the backseat of my Volkswagon! I’m so Goddamn organized. I really am. We are finally gearing up for an EPIC Shrunken Man BBQ. Anyway, once I harvest the first crop, it’s home sweet home! I have a lot of preparation to do. Some of my new “Guests” have some responsibilities at the parties that don’t necessarily, thrill them. But, oh well! Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for the sake of FUN. Considering I’m the hostess, it’s kind of my way or the highway. You can think of me as HOSTESSZILLA if you will. It tracks. Ask some of my guests from my last party. They are in the garage.
I wake up in the wee hours of the morning to do lots of food prep. I even make my own ketchup. Savory! With this in mind, don’t ever ask for the special ingredient, I’ll never tell! And if you know what it is, likely, you won’t be saying much again! Then I break out the ol’ meat grinder. There is nothing like homemade mini-burgers! I have pickles too. They are crunchy with a little give. Also, a hint of submission. Yeah! Don’t worry, I’ve got drinks. It’s punch. In any case, it’s time for my guests to arrive! I go to open my shed, and they just come pouring out! They’re SO hungry! To party! It’s a GIANT blast. Everyone is always so quiet. I never even get any noise complaints! Let’s not forget it’s Summer Feet Season! I’ll be barefoot, stomping all over the yard!
Want to attend my Shrunken Man BBQ?
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