Not all of you, but some, tend to think that your God-given peen is enough to send your lady screaming, in bliss of course. Unfortunately, even if she loves your package, you may just not be delivering it in a timely or concise manner. Putting oral aside, sexual intercourse can leave room for, well… disappointment. However, I’m here to tell you, this confetti cannon doesn’t have to be a dud. It wouldn’t hurt to keep a few tricks up your sleeve and leave your lady very pleasantly surprised. Not only will your queen be happy, but she may even frequent your chambers more often than before, good sir! So sit tight, keep your hand off your dick for the next few paragraphs, and open your eyes to the gems that lie before you. Here gentlemen, are my Top 3 Hottest Sex Positions.
There is no way I was going to save the best for last because this position is sure to make that kitty purr. Psychotherapist Edward Eichel created this technique in the 1980s to close the orgasm gap. But, most likely, to spread some thighs. The first time this happened to me I didn’t know what it was, but my partner had clearly done his research. He laid me on my back and I thought, “OK, missionary.” I’m here to say, no, no it was not. There is a reason this has taken the number 1 spot in My Top 3 Hottest Sex Positions. Next, he got in a downward dog position and made my pussy explode in fucking seconds. This is some scientific clitoral stimulation, and if your hypothesis is that it’s nonsense, then the conclusion will blow your mind. Feel free to google image this one for research (wink.)
The Lotus. Don’t worry, not the White Lotus. No one is dying in a fancy hotel when this move comes out to play. Quite the opposite, in fact. This position may be the most loving and intimate of the 3. It’s much more than traditional cowgirl, and you’ll feel closer than ever. Make sure to support her back, even though she will be holding you very, very close. Get lost in each other’s eyes, kiss, and feel her tremble onto you as Niagra Falls unleashes all over your lap. You’re welcome. Also, who doesn’t love titties in their face? A close runner-up (similarly) to this position would be Dead Man’s Cowgirl. Ask any of my three hot boyfriends!
Specifically, for number 3 of my Hottest Sex Positions, you’ll need a mirror. This one doesn’t quite have a name. Think of it as reverse cowgirl, lotus style, with a view, for me and you! For whatever reason, (my tumultuous sex history) I associate this position with make-up sex. It’s a sort of “Let’s both watch ourselves fuck each other and see what you were missing out on, dickhead” kind of position. However, along with the power comes that clitoral stimulation we all want and love. Plus, it’s live fucking porn and you made it, congratulations. Just make sure to keep some paper towels handy, you’ll need them. Whether you’re a 2, 3, or 4-ply kind of guy, you’ll be ok with your lady winning this fight. Thank you science and Kama Sutra! Happy humping!
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