BBC Space Police, the year is 2069. All men with substantial packages have been sent into space to guard Planet Earth. Scientists realized that big dick energy has a force strong enough to shield the planet from outside intruders. “There is power in numbers,” lead scientist John Little announced twenty years back at the Summit of Scrotums also known as “S.O.S.” The only previous form of protection was the Masses of the Asses, (M.O.T.A) an on-planet artillery defense coalition led by Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez. “When big booties collide, there will be no divide,” Secretary of M.O.T.A., Cardi B’s selling point on the matter at hand. The M.O.T.A. boats were stationed in all major ports, while the BBC Space Police patrolled as first-tier protection.
Skyping with her girlfriend, Emma, they chatted and giggled as Sloane sipped on a Sunday mimosa atop the roof of her NYC flat. Emma was on the West Coast, taking a break from entertaining her clients with silly tourist traps. Suddenly, their connection flickered as Sloane exclaimed, “Emma! There is something in the sky! Could it be the BBC Space Police?” Emma took a look at the screen and gasped when she quickly looked up and saw something in the sky as well. “No Sloane! This is something bigger…something massive!” Sloane took a closer glance and saw that a giant green mushroom head had pierced through the sky. “It’s coming in fast and hard! Right over Central Park,” cried Sloane.
Sloane looked down at her screen when she heard a tremendous boom coming from Emma’s end. “Emma, what happened? Are you ok? Sloane asked in fear. “No, Sloane! We’re being attacked! Where are the BBC Space Police when we need them? A giant green cock is fucking the Grand Canyon!” Emma exclaimed. As Sloane looked up she saw her own green-eyed monster making its way through the park, mounting everyone in its path, including Woody Allen. Sloane began to scream when suddenly emergency sirens began to pierce through the chaos. A voice came after the sirens “This is President Trump speaking. We’ve got a big-ly problem…kind of HUGE. It seems, that uh, well, The United States is being double penetrated. Good luck everyone. I’ll be in Mar-a-Lago with Bezos in the underground lair. Trump 2073!”
She began to run down the staircase. Green jizz slid across every window she passed. Fearful of what this could mean, she hopped on her bike and made her way to the Hudson. A river of asses was all she could see for a mile out. She knew M.O.T.A. were doing their work but where was the BBC Space Police at such a climactic moment in history? Then suddenly, the sound of jets permeated her ears and she knew they had finally arrived! The tops of the jets burst and out came the men the planet needed most. They zoomed down on jet packs scooping up the M.O.T.A girls. It was important they would combine forces for the ultimate takedown. Sloane squinted her eyes “Is that, is that Tracy Morgan??” Tracy scooped up Cardi B and said “Unzip me, and give me that W.A.P.!
Before much time had passed all bodies of water had a cloud above of men fucking hot women on jet packs. A countdown began over the radio by 10-Inch Pete Davidson, a signal coming from big cock headquarters. When Pete reached one, a hurricane of seed shot throughout the planet, shrinking down the green monsters to insignificant worms, and finally, the planet was saved.
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