Although I am currently missing a significant other to spend this holiday with, I will enjoy not doing the expected. For all of you ball and chained up, I suggest you take my advice as well. Thanksgiving, there’s food, Christmas=presents, and NYE is just fucking fun! Valentine’s Day may be the most overrated, the most commercialized holiday yet, and nothing ever goes as planned. This Valentine’s Day, skip the last-minute dates (for all you fellow singles) and those of you with a partner, it’s time to change things up. Let’s stop buying women all the shit they don’t want because you weren’t paying attention, and skip the crowded restaurants. Here’s your 2024 Anti-Valentine’s Day Hitlist!
Do you want to spend this LOVE day with the one you love, while jammed in a packed sardine-can restaurant? The food will come out late, the specials will be cheesy, and you will hear the next generation of singles finding their way out of their relationship. There will be tears trailing, trays falling, and the treats will seem all the less sweet. Stay home! The Anti-Valentine’s Day hitlist is absolutely for you too! For example, you can make your reservation for this week, or even better, the week after. If you’ve made it past this hideous holiday without breaking up, you will actually have something to celebrate! Why not try something new like freaky foot sex? Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not go out of the country on holiday. Rookie mistake.
Stay home! Lol, just kidding. However, spending this day watching porn and having your Super Lube handy, could be key. The truth is, you have a few options. You can scroll the internet for some ladies cut from the same cloth. Maybe they hate this day as much as you do! Maybe they want to do the least romantic things possible, like fuck in your car or something. You never know. But, in all seriousness, don’t skip the dating apps. Other guys will be too afraid of pre-v-day plans and on their end, it will be crickets. It’s a perfect opportunity for you to swoop in and show these babes you’ve got balls. Maybe you want a girlfriend, maybe you don’t. Thankfully, you can test out all the options, while using all the different apps. Besides, it’s practically infinite anyway, especially for all you big-city boys!
Whether you are single or not, this stupid day doesn’t need to be one you fear. Embrace it. Work your way around this cookie-cutter system! Splurge on a dinner party with friends, single or not! Pop some bottles, and buy the good cheese, all while listening to your favorite music. Just don’t sulk. Skip the anxiety for you and your Mrs, and solo dude, there is no pressure. Don’t let one day of the year be special for some and the worst for others. Fuck that! However, you should spend the day how you would like. If that means doing nothing at all, so be it. Finally, if you do get lonely, I might know someone you can always call on Valentine’s Day…
Did you enjoy my Anti-Valentine’s Day Hitlist?
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