Penis-Shaped Ice Cream Bars Are Selling Out This Year! ♕

University fundraising opportunity!

Each year my school gives the opportunity to each student to raise funds that go directly toward tuition costs. I got the idea of selling penis-shaped ice cream bars last year. Liberals run things at my school, so the rules are pretty bendy. As long as no one is selling anything illegal, everything else is on the table; including my penis bars! I make the purest organic homemade ice cream from 100% cacao & vanilla beans. Oh yes, I use that info as my main marketing strategy, at this school, it pays to be ‘Green/ Eco-friendly/ Organic’!

With the boost of popularity for social media platforms such as TikTok and Instagram, I don’t struggle to advertise my penis-shaped ice cream bars! Our town has extreme summer heat rays that burn into your skin, some come out of it looking like a lobster! Most people that attend the same university as me are fit, active, and on the move. There’s not a girl dressed down in anything longer than finger-tip length shorts; It’s just too damn hot! Therefore, we all sport our itty bitty [dukes of hazard looking] jean shorts, Nikes, and crop tops. Oh yeah, there’s something else…

Our campus has a bad reputation… the party kind. Yeah, that’s right,  we’re all under the influence of something, and fucking at some point during the party. Our campus girls are the town’s most easy sluts. But that’s okay! We take pride in being in charge of our feminine sexual energy. That’s why I decided to turn what was once basic cold ice cream pops, into penis-shaped ice cream bars. Word got around quickly in the 1st go-round last year. Afterward, my bars made the town’s front page. A GoFund page for me popped up anonymously and helped me raise a huge chunk of my tuition.

Penis-shaped ice cream bars flood the halls of our town’s university.

After witnessing the decline of donations to my account, I took to social media to sell my penis pops! Consequently, I almost got completely cited for selling without a license. In my town, it’s a ridiculously long approval process of 6 damn years! Can you believe that?! Neither can I. Evidently, I’m not going to break the law or risk being banned from making my penis-shaped ice cream bars. Therefore, I decided to begin advertising the long-due opening of my cold pops at this upcoming year’s annual fundraiser! For this reason, a huge line has formed on the side of my gazebo.

Luckily, everyone was in a decently organized single-file line. If it hadn’t been that well ordered, I would be gazing into a sea of hungry horny co-eds, and staff! Although most individuals usually stress over the challenge, I stay calm since I have my handsome football player boyfriend by my side. He’s handling the cash while I hand out my pure organic homemade penis-shaped ice cream bars from 100% cacao & vanilla beans. Then, he whispers in my ear that he would love me scarfing one of these down for our upcoming submissive slave anniversary.

Business is booming and all the campus girls are walking away with half of their penis-shaped ice cream bars down their throats. Today will be a huge ‘boner’ day for the boys, and another successful year of raising funds for my tuition!

Help with tuition costs, while receiving the kinkiest phone sex from this dirty co-ed!