Lick Him Off: Teaching My Sibling My Blowjob Tricks.

College girls are innocent too.

What is up with girls nowadays? It seems like these poor souls don’t know a thing about sex! It amazes me, with all the internet at hand, porn videos to watch, and blogs to read, yet, they are still holding in their moans when there’s a cock stuffed inside them; how sad. Luckily for me, I started off young. Not too young.. and trust me, I was disgusted the first second, but then, I became a fucking pro! If there was a dick-sucking contest, no girl could lick him off like me. I’m the grand champion.

It’s 3 am, my parents are completely passed out, the dogs are in their kennels, and my little boyfriend and I are sexting back and forth. Tonight he’s staying at his mom’s friend’s house, and surprisingly it’s close to mine. So, like horny ass teenagers, we plan to meet at the local middle school. I pack my blanket and clothes to change into, fix my hair, and put my makeup on. Then, with the quietness of a mouse, I sneak out of my house, hop on my bike and ride to school. I lick him off on the football field, right under the field goal.

Unfortunately, it was not what I expected and, quite frankly, grossed me out. Little did I know I would soon come to be a dick-sucking expert. Every guy I blow is left with their toes curled, fingers dug into the sheets, and the goddamn living soul is sucked right out of them; I pride myself in that. At about 19 years old, I had it down to a T. Fast-forward several years, and here I am, walking into my 19-year-old sister’s room, overhearing the convo; lick him off!

Lick him off: crashing the slumber party.

What’s going on in here? My sister Madison and her 4 besties stare at me wide-eyed and jump a bit in their seats when I walk through the door. There’s a mini stare-off, and we all begin to burst out laughing. Bro, are you guys talking about sucking dick?! You little bitches know absolutely nothing. Want me to teach you a thing or two? I’ll be right back. See, I thought about bringing one of my dildos to show them how I suck cock, but they don’t need to see what I fuck myself with. Therefore, I get a banana.

Everyone loves a good banana. Bananas are delicious, mushy, sweet, and easy to swallow. Unfortunately, I didn’t have anything but two plums to act as the “balls.” Once I get back into the room, I get down on my knees and tell the girls to sit together right in front of me to take some notes. Then, it’s time to learn how to lick him off. Trust me, at your age, you need to be pros at this. Otherwise, you’ll never get a boyfriend if you have a lame-ass head game; no guy likes that.

I first went on to talk about facials, what to do, and what not to do. Often, a girl screws up a perfect facial just because she doesn’t want her makeup ruined. Well, fuck that! Dirty, nasty blowjobs are where it’s at! Deep throats are the new and improved blowjobs and are an absolute must. Then, we have the balls [our perfectly circular plums], always caress these. We want delicate affection towards them, whether it’s with our mouth, hands, feet, you name it. Better yet, I went into all the necessary details before I gave the visual example.

Learning how to lick him off, the right way.

Next, I took the biggest, fattest, and yellowest banana I could find… I peeled that mother fucker and began to slowly suck on its tip, then slowly went deeper and deeper. This is how you lick him off… The banana is lost inside my throat. Even though I have a gag reflex, I forcibly breathe solely through my nostrils. Every time I gag, I let out all my saliva, allowing it to slide down my banana and tits. Always have your hands on their balls; if they’re a balls guy, some aren’t.

After explaining, re-explaining, and demonstrating, I finally get to bite into my banana after all my hard work. I go back down into the kitchen and bring up another 5 bananas to put these bitches to work, I made sure they sucked on those bananas all night long before each and every one of them got it right! They all earned their intense cum load, from their bananas of course.

What do you think, too harsh?

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